the Shy Tird

…yes that was pizza. It smells now.

Pizza is definitely coming.

Or, at least what it has become.

Hey there! I am taking a shit!!!

Just like every time I’m writing a post.

Today’s crap seems wrapped in gel, yesterday I ate pizza, but I have reasons to believe it hasn’t arrived at the end of its journey yet… I feel it inside…

Huuuuge turd! Great day!

I spent the night awake, taking a shit.

Very bad.

Alrighty! New day, new brownish stuff from my arse!

What is it like today? 1-inch floating droplets !

Still considering the idea of storing my crap in jars, and selling it.

Sometimes I just procrastinate shitting, just because I don’t have enough inspiration for my post.

Disappointing amount of shit

Makes a man still hit

I’ve spent the whole day climbing outdoor. First thing I felt as I arrived at the spot was A HUGE TURD ready to get out!!

I had to fucking keep it inside! In the end though… here you are! I SET YOU FREE!

Sushi leftovers make my arse sting

Finally a story worth of this blog!

Just came back home with my girlfriend, we spent the whole day recovering from our binge eating at our all-you-can-eat favourite nikkei restaurant. Well… I urged some shit, didn’t I?

I took my trousers off, and I said to her, ‘I need a shit now’. She nods, then laughs and says, ‘hey… you’ve stained your pants….’

I blushed, and immediately rushed to the bathroom.

SAFE.

Time to check my embarrassment…

Here’s the bottom line, it was not a shit blot, that was blood. Dried brownish blood.

NOW I COULD CALL MYSELF WORRIED.

I kneeled in front of the mirror and… well.. it was just a pimple I forgot I scratched during the day…

I wonder what will it be my gf face…

WC at work is broken.

I am home now.

POOOOPFREEEDOOOM

The price of oversleeping is to have my morning shit in front of my laptop, working in the best environment possible, the loo.

During the last month I’ve been studying cryptocurrencies, there’s never been a more appropriate point in time to create a proper shitcoin, the SHYT.

The only problem is, I don’t have the knowledge to do so 😦

It’s so difficult to take a shit while the real estate agent is trying to sell my house…

Well, he could be saying the same thing on how difficult it is to be selling a house using his owner’s shit smell as a quirky perk 🤔

Yesterday I had pasta for lunch and pork meat for dinner.

I am not used to them anymore. And I am used to this smell no more!

Luckily it just lasted a couple of minutes

The beginning of the working week is dull, such as my dry dark crap.

Instead of focusing on these bad aspects of my day, I decide to focus on something else, much much worthy. Crap I am going to expel tomorrow.

I am so much into shit-madness 🤷

I love those Sundays spent in bed with my girlfriend, sex, sleep, cuddles, sex, farts.

The only cons is I completely forgot to have a shit. Let’s catch up immediately!

*Splash*

More shit is coming, where does it come from though?

I haven’t even eaten today

You know those pets who wake you up at night? You love them, but you still hate it when they do that.

Change pets with shit.

Same

As I said this morning, I miss my adventures… 😔

What lifts me up though, is that I started climbing lesson, in a couple of months I will be able to have a shit hanging on a cliff 🧗🏽

I started this blog so I could tell my stories, tales from my shitty world. I can’t count how many times in the past I’ve been struggling for my shit, holding farts, outdoor diarrhoea, constipation, and so on.

Now, nobody could see these covid times coming, but it is not been lucky time for me.

I wish I could tell more stories in the past, I wanted to confide in my hypothetical audience (the internet) all my incredible stories, which have to stay secret in real life, and so I still want to.

I guess I just have to wait…

As soon as my mind shrinks, so does my anus.

So what? So human is powerful.

But I cannot shit.

Ok. Now I know what is the anal plug shapes based on.

Second session of the day:

Shit flowing like the ocean on a bay

Today I woke up in anxiety.

Here’s what could happen to me under these circumstances:

-constipation

-diarrhoea

-anal cramps

-farts

-everything shit-related

A nice day begins.

When my mind’s somewhere else I don’t feel my shit, it’s in the background. I just hear splashes.

But I am free to go!

That’s not worth commenting.

Dry

Morning stretching for my arse.

Open, andClooose

Open, andClooose

Open, andSHIIIIT!