the Shy Tird

The beginning of a new job means, I had no time to have a shit today. It doesn’t fit in my routine! I don’t have a new routine yet.

Indeed, I just had the time to make some turds only now. It’s dry

Brblbrblrblrblbbrbr, is the sound my arsehole makes today.

This morning I went biking for miles and miles. Once home I decided I needed proteins. Beans seemed a nice Idea.

I farted all day long.

I am going to bed, but I can barely cover my body with the bedsheet. My stomach grew 1000 times bigger than my entire body.

This was just shit.

Pretty long session though. I spent one hour sitting on my toilet.

Now my bottom is made of china

Haven’t told you I spent the day in bed, recovering from my hangover.

Only now I can proudly say, am finally through.

Shit makes the journey end

Wiping up some chocolate ice cream.

Trust me. It was totally the same. Even nut crumble was in it!

This turd felt like someone tried to fuck my arse with a sharp knife.

Looks like I am suffering from some kind of disorder.

Uh, ok! At least I have a blog to inform people about it!

My stomach is bloating. My intestines as well. Inside me 80% farts, 20% useless crap

100% toxic

Something is wrong.

Can’t tell why, but my belly hurts, and I had no fulfillment yesterday 😕

Where does this constipation come from? 😣

Not yet 😦

Can’t tell why, but even if I feel like I shall shit as an elephant, only a bally got through

Lil’ one

If I bow my head down, I can see a ball made of crap. A perfect little sphere has just got out of my arsehole.

It hurts a bit, indeed

Well, it finally came out. Just a single one tird. Long. Steady. Rigid

Nothing out

Nice! I slept like 1hour, and I’m back in the loo!!

This morning, we have a very special spongy crap, to celebrate my arduous night

The moment has finally came. I’ve spent two long hours up longingly waiting for the hideous things inside me to come out.

FINALLY, here it comes! And it’s PAINFULLY SATISFYING!!!

Surprisingly peculiar smell. Pungent and floral

A rewarding low-sounding fart suddenly reveals what’s going on inside me: EVIL

In the meantime, I drink some milk to ease my nausea.

I’ve got to admit that having this blog helps me feeling less alone in moments like these.

I’m now crouched on the floor, waiting for my bowels to unclog, while I take a rest from some fifty abs I’ve just made to facilitate somehow the movements of my bowels.

I think, telling people about my distress takes a great part of making me feel better.

In the meanwhile — the neighbours’ dog barking in distance —, I keep laying on the floor, sleepless, deluded, and literally full of crap.

So, I’m still sitting here. My stomach hurts. My bowels is still, almost quiet— apart from some hilarious very high-pitched farts.

I’d rather be asleep, but I can’t. First I MUST get rid of the stupid crap hidden inside me, It’s devouring me from the inside.

All right. Here I am again. Sitting on my toilet in the middle of the night. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a honour.

Long story short, I celebrated my girlfriend’s birthday in a park with a couple of her friends. We finished our beers, so I rapidly went buying some new fresh ones. I had to go to three different markets to fill my backpack.

I rode back to our spot in the park, we finished all our beers. I wasn’t drunk. I can’t be drunk drinking beer. I shouldn’t. My bowels cannot handle it. I shouldn’t had. I did.

When I went to sleep I felt like my stomach could Potentially hurt. This means it was pretty much freezed in a full-capacity condition. Full-of-beer.

A hasty reprise

Makes the toilet pride

Nice. My anus has cramps, it’s vibrating like an electric rasor…

…and the crap looks like minced meat

Enormous.

I’ve been playing with some clay for a few hours now…

Now that some smooth crap exits through my hole, the first instinct was to take it for modeling.

Just a few minutes after, here comes the concrete.

Even If I’ve been awake for like three hours already, my butt seems to be still dreaming.

Only farts today. Farts, abstract ideas of a brownish nuance.

Studying is something I forgot how to do. I feel like my student time has gone for good.

Now I need to concentrate on more solid stuff, like this TURD. Rock-solid.

Not that much of a smell. Indeed I shall study my crap, in order to found a new discipline: shitology.

New day, new shit product of my belly!

Such a profitable export company I could put on…💭

My day began in the best way. Nice slumber, dreamful, great mood for me! I had breakfast, I laid on the sofa for one hour, studying Portuguese on Duolingo, and then I went to the bathroom.

As soon as I entered the room, the pain was calling me. I nearly had no time to undress, then I sat.

Here I still am, stationary, trying not to augment my abdominal pain, while unloading from loads and loads of crap.

At first, the longest snake got out, seamlessly followed by whacked light-brown pieces.

After eight agitated minutes, I could finish. Relieved. Wiping my arse for another two-minute-long period.