the Shy Tird

Pick a brush and damp it, now memorise its shape.

The turd I just produced totally resembles it. Even the colour is neat.

This is what I call an artist’s touch.

Had no shit today 😦

There’s a strong link between slumber and defecation. When one goes missing for days, the other will follow.

These weeks I am piling up hours of sleep lost, consequently, shit’s not coming out as usual. In the morning it pretends there ain’t any left after a few unsatisfying drops, then in the evening it calls, waking up from its own hibernation. Since I have no way to free myself from the burden, it cumulates, looping the cycle in the morning.

Today I am going back at my climbing gym. I need it. It’ll smoothen the gap between slumber and defecation. I can be again a human. I need it.

Dull post.

I woke myself up just 3 minutes ago. I already pushed out a meatball of shit shitball. I feel drowsy. I feel useless. I feel a shitball.

This post doesn’t even have a bottom line! I hope the session will though.

It’s getting harder and harder to shit and I am not even 50.

Guess it’s time for my invention. A tool that lets you grab the shit hidden within you.

It shall be named, the shy-tirder.

Sometimes it takes longer to wipe it than to make it.

I feel like I should sleep for two days non-stop. This morning I had to leave too early I had no time to sleep more. Had none even for a quick shit.

This is the time to recover. I am taking the day off. First this shit. Then I guess I’m going to sleep for the rest of the day.

Can’t sleep finely without downloading some rubbish

I guess there was something missing.

Btw. I feel still excited to have shitted in the water. It is very cool. It’s like having a tale for some seconds.

Finally at the beach.

Finally at the beach.

I mean, Finally I could shit in the sea. I missed it 😔

Afterward the turds kept floating for a while, thus the waves brought them apart…

Gliding. Stretching for my arse.

Round 2. Post-work disruption.

BOMBS AWAY!

Not sure what to say, because I slept just for three hours, my belly is still bloated by alcohol, and I am sitting on the wc with my eyes closed.

Truly nothing exciting about it.

I have just tried to do something pretty difficult for me, that is waking up and going immediately to the bathroom to have a shit.

I have rarely succeeded at that. I need some breakfast to activate my body. Well, it worked!

It is getting hard to accept. I cannot have a proper shit. I haven’t in weeks. There’s something wrong. Everything is lost. I don’t know what to do. I keep writing. I keep note.

When will it end though?

These turds are not worth a king such as me!

The King of shit is depressed.

Preluded with some fresh air, here comes the fun.

Funny arse, these days.

Skipped another day.

Such a nice scent in this car…

Constipation. Again.

All right. I hope it’s done.

I’ve just weighted myself. I disposed of 1.4kg of crap. No joke.

I am still sitting here. This is real inferno guys.

I just want to die.

I don’t even know this is even fucking possible, but it feels like I am drumming out every little piece of shit amassed in weeks.

The quantity is such, it’s now piling above water level

My body has just reminded I forgot to deliver the most important task today.

I had to rush to the bathroom. It was very sudden.

Now I’m feeling pain. I am screaming.

A Torture

Utterly disappointing shit

Still constipated. I convinced myself it’s that painkiller’s fault!

Hard to make it, soft to touch.

Not exactly a riddle!

Just a little one before resting. It’s solid.

PS. My dick keeps itching. I can’t help but thinking the volatile shit coming from my shit is shitting my shitty blister. Shit.

I am stressed.

Ok, my dick is surrounded by stitches. Every time I take a shit I have to unwrap it from the bandage dressing. I slept something like a few intervals of a 20-minute-slumber, interrupted by itches, pain, boners in the whole night. As I arrived at work this morning, my bosses sent me a message saying they’re not coming before noon.

Now, the very few I can do to express my rage is to take a shit here, in the no-windowed-loo. Fine. I already finished though…

Something deep inside me says to grab these huge turds and use ‘em like chalks to write onto the studio’s white-freshly-painted walls, ‘PEOPLE=SHIT’ as many times as the length of my crap could bear before destroying. And once it happens I shall throw it vigorously onto the windows with so much strength to break them.

Right. Nice fantasy. That is why I use this blog instead.

The Rocky Tird Shit Show

Another pile of work. I mean shit at work

Still difficult to have a shit

Weird. Never experienced something such as this.

I had the first dose of Pfizer vaccine. Nice.

I needed a shit during the whole process. But I’m still constipated because of my circumcision.

My body has just decided not to care anymore. Let’s shit.

Fine.