the Shy Tird

Humble shit session

Today I found difficulties at shitting.

Only #3 turds expelled. Dimension 1 to 3 inches.

End of the Report.

Uhm, Nothing. I’ll just wait another couple of hours!

a 5-hour webcall, followed my this average shit. So nice.

No I think want to die here.

By the way, my shit is beautiful as fuck!

No.

It kinda feels I am going to die soon. My sleep is the problem. It is inconsistent. My body keeps waking me up.

Back to those things that matter, though, It was smooth and soft, very much ice-creamy. Nice. At least something I don’t have to struggle about!

Still on the toilet, back on writing. Not as easy though…

My bowel is making brutal contractions, and I can’t think. It’s to intense!

These painful shats are too fucking frequent! This is insane!

Yet, a morbid way to write more posts!

Live fast die young

But shitting needs time. Gotta stay relaxed, gotta live the moment, leaving your turds behind.

But these days I got no time. Gonna die soon I guess. That’s what it feels like.

If I die I want to do it on the toilet.

Had raw onion for lunch. It is still clogging my stomach. It’s rough.

Rough onion.

And a meteor comes down. ☄️

Shit wrapped in juicy pods

Easier to clean

I’ve just eaten a stupidly fat piece of cake for breakfast. Nothing else matters, I only need this shit.

It feels hotter than usual, would it be as spicy as my yesterday’s dinner?

My shit is hard, dry, ugly. Utterly unsatisfying.

Really Nothing else worth reporting about

Off course very difficult to discharge

Less amount than usual. Thrashing kind.

Dull

I feel more shit inside than what I see outside

As I would have expected my bowels hurt as disposing of what yesterday was a delicious kebab lunch and a huge portion of chips for dinner.

The more I go on, the more I reckon my proctologist should be informed of this blog of mine.

There’s only one big problem, I don’t have a proctologist.

Actually two, shit has never stopped coming out of my arse. And it hurts even more.

Peace ✌️

Fragments of an animal that have been.

I wish I could shit more. My routine is chaos these days, and it fucks up my shit habits.

To be sure not to miss a good shot though, I ate a saucy kebab.

Looking forward to my next session now!

At my faculty’s closet. No toilet paper.

Guess I’ll show it my ninja skills I learned!

Still Grinding.

Yet satisfying

I thought I was going to shit much more. I ate more than I could ever thought on my yesterday’s lunch

Me and my girlfriend rented an AirB&B for the night.

I am trying to have a shit now, but what restraints me from having a shit is not my girlfriend staring at me. It is the old mother of our apartment tenant sleeping in the room beside ours

I lost a cork in yesterday’s mayhem.

A little hangovery, guess I found it. It popped out of my arse.

Just shit.
Sometimes it’s just what it is!

Pretty disappointing. I ate pizza yesterday, and I keep feeling movements inside me. That brown serpent is hiding! Bastard!

Reprise. If my toilet was firstly filled with huge columns, there now are the rubbles.

Out of metaphor, there first has been a spike attack, after a while followed by a volcano eruption.

Yes, it really feels like lava.

Fine. Breakfast required a lot of self temper, but in the end I managed to finish it before the bomb EXPLODED.

NOW I AM EXPIATING ALL MY YESTERDAY’S SINS: a kebab for lunch, three large beers and some pizza for dinner.

This session is very excruciating, and it keeps going! I guess it’s worthy of Dante’s inferno.

I can’t even have a placid breakfast…

My bowels is in turmoil

Shitting at the studio is never a good thing, there’s no window and I am fucking sweating!!!!

Basically I shit, then spend the rest of the day waiting to shit again.

Let’s start counting the minutes again!

Uh! Let me flush it first!

New spot!

I’ve never took a shit at my girlfriend’s parents’. It’s somehow cute!

It came at a high price though! First, I had a hazardous load to deliver. Second, there’s no window in here -.-‘

I guess…All’s Well That Ends Well

Disappointment in a jammy sauce

At night, in the dark. I sit on my throne reasoning, is it better to keep it inside or to let it go? If I expel it now I won’t have enough shit to expel in the morning! Many other different solutions crowded my mind.

Suddenly shit interrupted my thought. It simply got out. I guess there’s not to worry about anything in life, things will go as they have to. Finely.

Just to end this metaphoric shat neatly, a stinky, throbbing fart.