last   poops

Tuesday, 12 September 2023 | 08:35 AM

Weird dream tonight. I took a lot of shit at a party, but there were no toilet. Instead I was carrying all of my turds on my backpack.

The last thing I remember, I was emptying them all counting them. There were kinda like 30 pieces.

Perhaps cleaning my cat’s litter could be a little heavy for my subconscious….

Friday, 8 September 2023 | 08:23 AM

Gotta admit, this morning I thought it would have been easier to take a shit, instead I found myself in turmoiled constipation, with little bally turds been shot throughout my anus at speed.

…..POP!

like a cannonball!

Grudging

Are you holding a grudge? About?

I should have gave more time to my bowels this morning…

Now I’m holding hazardous farts at work 🥺

Wednesday, 6 September 2023 | 05:23 AM

I am an utter idiot. I took the rational decision to drink alcohol only on weekends, not because I have an addiction, it’s just a matter of health.

The hangover is something my body can’t just cope with, especially with beer.

It’s pretty clear, I spoiled my swear.

It was lunch break with my colleagues, we went out for a piadina, the streets were plenty of people, still feeling on vacation, beer pints were everywhere, on anyones table. Fresh, foamy draught beer.

I resisted. I only drank water.

Good.

After work I was going to meet a friend, he was a little hungry and we looked for some classic Italian aperitivo. They served special craft beer, and I just couldn’t resist. I ordered a pint.

Once finished, in just 5 minutes, I ordered another. Now. My promise was broken already, but if I stopped there my body would have been somehow safe…

After that my girlfriend joined us to go have dinner at our favourite Indian restaurant. I wasn’t hungry at all, so I STUPIDLY decided to order a beer. Nothing special, just a ordinary dull beer. I obviously emptied two bottles, and I already knew, the morning after I’d have curse myself…

Right. Here we are at present. I couldn’t sleep much, because my bowels are cursed already. Here I am, sitting on my toilet, my stomach hurting, yet not much shit.

The funny part is, I normally have not enough time in the morning to relax and have a shit, but today, YES, GREAT! My alarm is in ninety minutes, and I am plenty of time to shit and to tell the whole world why I am here!

Yeeeeah, GREAT!