the Shy Tird

I am dying out of lack of sleep. This morning my arse was utterly asleep, I guess it woke up only now!

Lunch time at home has its own perks.

HOM SHIT HOME!

Sticky

Just shat shit wrapped in a sort of endogenic brownish fluid. I guess is normal!

Btw this gave me an idea for Christmas, wrapping my shit in gift paper and present it to my friends. They’re surely gonna love it!

I took a poo at the studio.

I feel so naughty!

Having a poo this morning was very difficult, I needed to push like a woman does giving birth. The only difference is I flushed regretfully my three twins.

I deliberately decided not to have a shit today. 🤨

Actually, it was my body’s decision

Bosses out, me farting 100fph (farts per hour).

Now on the toilet. 0fph. A huge shit instead.

Over.

Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt my dinner already piled up to get out.

Pasta with lobster is ultimately tasty. I mean. Very very very yummy. The problem with crustaceans is I love them so much I always eat their shell too! Not a problem for my teeth – it soften after some minutes – though a delayed problem for my bowels.

Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt pain rising inside my arse. The zombie lobster trying to get back to the sea. Pain raising. Pain through me. I am pain.

I run for the loo, can’t even finish my breakfast. I run for my life.

*a long turd presses its way out* – I am free. Still alive. The evil crustacean soul is gone. Now I am my only true God.

Thus my morning begins.

Mh friend just wrote me, ‘I can’t shit anymore in the morning. My shit cycle is changing’.

I guess winter is coming my friend!

Not much to say about this shit, it was very normal. Normal. Normal shit ok? IT’S A NORMAL SHIT. CAN’T I SHIT NORMAL SHIT??

How satisfying is the post-workday shit?

For me A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

*Plunk*

After some turds spread across a twenty-five-minute session, wiping me off was soft as velvet. I mean, my anus was so keen about being caressed🥰

I should have spent the day studying. I did not. Now anxiety rises. Let’s take a poop!

I wonder if I’ll be able to write in rhyme ever again 😢

A simple task

Proud to start my day with such a crappy. 🙂

Very lumpy. Veery smokey.

THE GREATEST SHIT in months. I mean, freaking enormous!

Ok, I’ve been shitting duller than normal in the last few month, but I wasn’t expecting I would have put out such a primordial matter. It reminds me of nature creating the world, the dinosaurs, the big bang!

Been sitting for ten minutes, and I am not sure wether I had a shit. 🙄

Sometimes these things happen, especially when the toilet is full of white foam*

*I use special tablets 🥰

I think I caught the flu.

I can tell this from the smell of my shit, and then randomness out of which it came at this time of the day.

I gotta preserve my heat. Gotta dry my hair asap! It’s so fun to use the hair dryer while taking a shit. Feels like I’m inside a hurricane.

No wait, has anybody ever taken a shit inside a hurricane?!

Terrible night. Now I am late. Can’t take the time to wait for my arse.

Bye

Can’t define this morning thing a proper shit. It looks like I’ve only been a miser… And I love to squander with my shit!

At first seemed just like I forgot to have a wee in the last few hours.
keep peeing… when suddenly! SWOOP! A slippery tird appears!

Such a wonderful surprise, this late at night!

There’s always shit to do.

Two-way meaningful

Two tirds in the hole!

🎶Back on shittiiiing, yeeeeah!🎶

My turds are floating. I’ve just felt like I gotta start study hard about shit. Everything about shit!! First thing is, why do they float??

If I want to become the king of shit, I must become a shit expert first!

Even though I’ve been eating much these days… I HAD NO SHIT TODAY!!!!

Looking forward for the next one:33

I don’t like the effects white wine does on me. Yet, my arse kinda love it, look at this perfectly extruded turd it just created! Wonderful!

I am still drowsy by the way, my eyes fogged by the hangover, I can’t really enjoy much of this shit session. Can’t even write properly to be fair.

Well, I’ll simply keep shitting!

Soft but HUGE. Joking. Simple dull shit.

Ehcjickabshdhfjd

Gotta admit I wasn’t expecting that the second half of my shit would have been so hurtful…

It’s kinda like my body has said, ‘Well since we feel great today, we shall discharge the whole backlogs!’

Still creamy, yet punchy!

After seven years spent in insomnia, I went to the doctor to talk about it. He prescribed me a bunch of examinations and some Lexotan drop before going to sleep.

I think it’s too early to discuss about their benefits, BUT I can at least say for sure, the shit I am producing appears as healthy as those I make when I feel fine. Is it a signal?

Creamy crap makes me clap clap!

Finally my morning shit I was looking forward to!

It was pretty disappointing though 😦

I felt like I could expel tons of crap, and yet it came out all at once, it lasted too short 😩

…And it collapsed my anus OUCH! It was thicker then a golf ball!