the Shy Tird

I am back to work. I immediately went for a shit. It slides seamlessly, effortlessly, silently out. I look down to see it. And.

And.

And…

I have no words

It’s the longest shit I have ever made. I normally don’t share pictures of it, but I must this time. Just to save this moment for ever.

I’m sharing the pic with my redditors fans.

I mean, it is HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!

Now I go for the first run workout in months. PROUD OF MYSELF

I woke up late. Had to open my laptop as soon as my eyes were open. Got to work fast. Had no time for shitting.

Let’s do it know buddy! YEAAH it’s so brown! It’s morning time! Yeah! SHIIIIT!

A new day begins

Let’s be honest. Shitting is the best thing in life.

Btw I am taking another shit. Yes. And I like it.

Cool Sunday, lot of fun. Loads of food. Now loads of shit

It was a delicious lunch.

My friends are on the sofa playing boardgames with my girlfriend.

I am on the toilet harvesting some shit. .-.

-Good morning my arse.

-💩

-I’m happy to see you too

It’s been a long and annoying night. Basically my metabolism simply stops if I don’t expertise or don’t any sport. That is the reason why my bowels self-fills with gas – a lot of gas – and my shit almost weight the very same as what I eat, my body is absorbing nothing at all.

Yesterday I had to celebrate with my best friend, we went to very good sushi, and we ended up eating more than we felt full.

Long story short, I haven’t slept, I’m full of crap, and my body is too weak to shit.

I spent the night waiting for the gas to get out. Just a few whistly farts got out, now a little extruded turd. I feel some more air inside me.

Uh! Look! The tird was a mousse! Lot of embedded gas! Now everything makes sense… let’s keep shitting and move on

Arsecrafting ethereal stuff

Farts

Did I say it was comfortable to have a shit as soon as I sit on the toilet?

Well I guess it was!

Much less comfortable it is to discover I still have a shitload of shit to shit, shit

Now the can is filled with it.

You know, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit in that very same moment is something very comfortable.

Even though I’m not even using my own crap as clay to shape some God statue to worship

I guess it’s time for my evening shit. I was looking forward to it for ages! And now everything I have is just a useless single turd?

Uh no… Here’s it’s twin!

Both useless tho

All right all right. Been sitting here for half an hour now, and I only count four tirds. Where’s all the rest???

Struggling a bit too much for some crap. Nothing nothing for fifteen minutes, then just a few crumbles

That’s a real blue monday 😦

Et voilà la SHIT!

To be fair, I thought I was going to exploit more, after all yesterday I had no shit at all

At the end of the day I had no shit whatsoever 😦

Saturday began with some DIY. Some physical work, movements, and stuff, made my body realise I had no shit at all.

I amused my girlfriend, who helped me thoroughly during the job, with LOADS OF FAARTS!

Nice. So nice. So now I am sitting here on the toilet but no shit gets out 😦

Btw, every time my mom cooks Mexican tortillas, I end up shouting shitting in pain.

They’re actually really good, when one’s eating them, the day after though, you wish you never ate ‘em!

Gotta admit I am deeply sad for what Russia is doing right now.

I keep shitting, but instead I would very much rather doing it on top of his head.

Today it is especially sneaky

Not even time to enjoy my breakfast! My anus is already pulsating looking forward to sitting on the white deliverer

Post-work fine shit

A bow turd. I could go hunt now!

Certain reprisal shit.

Two-day downloading.

Interrupted by my girlfriend needing to get a shower

Nice turdy

Yet so sturdy

Yesterday I had a prodigal grill party with friends.

Today everything I ate is still inside me. I only managed to push the littlest turd out, but I am scared of what’s still here

Handling this shit pretty well.

Not so much else to say. Too early

Baaaack agaaaain on the toooilet!

YEEEEAAAAHHhh

It’s so satisfying! It’s neither dark nor light brown, it’s neither soft nor too hard.

It’s THE PEEERFEEECT TUUUURD!

YEEEAAAHGHHHH

I can’t remember last time I went to sleep at this time.

Well, let’s have a shit and going to sleep now.

This session is taking more than I thought.

How much shit can stay inside me hidden?

Surprising