the Shy Tird

That was an odd crap, it started with ‘nope, I think I won’t take a shit today’. But I felt pretty burdened.

Many farts came then. I sit and produced a huge mass. Then just blobby fluid.

Now I feel great!

It’s the biggest shit I’ve done in months.

I mean, I don’t even understand where could everything be stored inside my belly.

Must be at least half a kilo of shit

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting another shit right now… but it’s fine. Taking a shit is always something good!

Even if this one is very airy 💨💨💨

Just a little shitty to free some space for lunch

I’ve been awake for two hours now, my pushy bowels wanted some place to drop their messages asap, but I gave ’em my toilet only now. My bowels are now content.

I am not that satisfied though, I wished it could have been more shit, but it’s just an old tird.

Just for the special occasion I’ll call it Charles the tird.

Just woke up. My bowels two minutes right after me. A bomb is dropped. My arsehole stings. She sings. Who’s she? My soul.

Yeeeeaaah, just extrude some shiiiit yeeeaahhhh!!!

A long series of turds made me realised I forgot to report my morning shit.

I didn’t do it because it was way to fast than expected. And pretty fluid…

Thus some turds came out…

Oh no! Too early for a shit this morning!

It’ll burden me the whole day, I a sure of this! 😡

There’s something quick I must drop before going to the gym.

Ok. Done. I am now ready

Soooooft and tendeer splaaash!

Even if this crap was pretty decent, I still feel unsatisfied. Gotta get back to my old habits, shitting in the morning gives me real Chocolate

Yesterday I had Indian food for dinner. I thought my arsehole would have taken it worse than it is now, but ok! Good for me!

It doesn’t even smell! NIIIICE

Squeezed entirely in 1.34seconds

G: I took a crap at the office for the first time today

G: moments of panic. The turd wouldn’t flush down.

L: Performance Anxiety?

G: Nope

G: The flush couldn’t dump it

L: How did you get away with it?

G: I pushed the turd down with the toilet brush

G: Helped by the water

L: base strategy, very nice

L: I was expecting more creative stuff

G: Just for one second I thought about taking the turd barehanded and trash it in the bin

Apparently I was a little constipated previously. There was more shit to come.

Here I am, deploying it

Ok, enough holding it, stop pretending you don’t need to have a shit. You do! Stop ignoring me!!!

Couldn’t resist to those lovely words my bowels said

Still holding my shit inside

Some shit was apparently hidden inside me.

I was feeling it coming one fart at the time. They got shorter and stinkier, then

SOLID

A huge Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster just took the spotlight in my bathroom. It crowds the pool with such a cockiness, that any other turd is now afraid to get out.

I feel fine though, it was worth three meals

A loooooooooong fart and the day begins

I am almost getting back to my routine. I just need to have a shit before eight though.

My arse is a little cross at this time of the day, need it more relaxed!

Turds are dry prunes now

Mu turds just sank. Byebye

Some babies.

Brownies

I was actually waiting for this moment today.

Since I took a shit late in the early morning, before going to bed, then nothing after I woke up.

Well, it came then! And it was wonderful! 2 heavy stones out!

Two little turds, nice to be there at this time of the day. I think I can go to sleep now.

Just woken up by my bowels.

‘Hey mate! There’s a parcel to be delivered!’

Here’s where I am now, at the post office, long queue…

Lol, nope! There’s no such thing as long queues here! I’m in the toilet, and there’s a queue of shit piling up behind me

Yeaaah, why not? Some more shiit!

It is getting worser and worser….

There’s something green embedded inside

What the hell could it be!?🤔

Certainly a bug.

I mean, there’s something wrong in this crap, it’s a muffin made of 1/2-inch-long puffy turds, all stuck together.

Everything got down the slope without falling apart