the Shy Tird

Ok, I was sleeping with a girl at her house tonight.

We actually spent the day together, had some lunch, some drinks in the evening.

I had no time for me myself and bowels, so during the night, I may have.. woken her up… with a pretty vigorous fart.

‘Sorry bout that!’ I said.

‘It’s nothin’, she said.

Good, good premises gal, going pretty fine!

Since yesterday I had three times crap, this morning it is a little difficult to put that out

And some more crap is due to go

I can barely stand, but there’s this shapeless turd who needed to strand

Uhm, I wake up after a 3-hour slumber. Still drunk. I take a shit, and it smoothly gets out. Rapidly.

I don’t understand what is happening right now, but I scent a pretty bad smell

Just crafted a surprisingly big piece of crap. I mean, I already took a shit today! And this, this is even bigger than this morning’s. It looks like ginger roots from another dimension.

Wooooow! My anus just ejected two pieces of shit a speedlight.

It was so surprising at this time of the day!

And yet, it dirtied the whole toilet

Just came back home, little high. Had something to eat then went for a wee.

Fuck! I’ve just realised I needed a shit! i gave it a shot. Yeeeasss. It got through.

It was fearful though

The mais show is finally here, it’s bigger then I thought, but I guess it could be even bigger…

Besides, my belly hurts

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is, sitting on my toilet.

Most of the times it’s just for having a wee. This time there are a lot of farts coming over. Waiting for the main artist here…

Woah! 🥵 two turds wider than my arsehole just tried to kill me!

They went out, but I thought I couldn’t stretch that much! I thought I could die…

Nothing bad happened in the end

Pain came back, as I sat on the toilet.

Now stuff out. Pain not yet away

I wake up in the morning feeling a heavy pain at my bowels. I crouch.

I am now having breakfast and it seems gone. But that’s impossible, and I am scared… eerie

Ok, the first stone is gone

It was clogging everything behind

All right, now some shit finally happens to get out.

It’s freeing, but it is not enough. I feel evil inside me, and I am not ok with it. Not at all

Didn’t make to have a shit today.

Bad bad

Lucky me, my friend opened eventually, now I am comfortable on his cold toilet, diarrhoea breaking off my arsehole.

Yeah, actually not that comfortable, I wish I was on my toilet right now….

Waiting at my friend’s front door

Cmon mate! Open the dooor! Or I am taking a shit in front of your door!

Always difficult for me when I don’t sleep at my place, I drink and eat a lot. The next day I feel like I’m going to explode, but I can’t. My body don’t allow this excess…

Perhaps today was the day with the healthiest shit in days, probably a week.

Pretty fresh, no constipation, less air than usual. Nice.

Let’s try to improve this day by day. Though I keep drinking….

I had lentil salad for lunch. My bowels is not appreciating it.

Okay, perhaps today, my bowels is feeling a little better. Only a little though.

Still got to cope with me getting drunk every fucking night!

First shit of the day, after a night spent in agony, too may farts hidden and they wouldn’t get out!!

Kept me awake

Oh shit, is the fourth of the day!

It’s getting frustrating…

Yeeeeeh why not? Some more disgusting turds out

It’s difficult, every day I get older, and my body with me, and my hangover gets worse.

And my shit gets more difficult. Ouch.

But it’s fine, as long as it keeps getting out

It’s getting awfully difficult to handle hangovery craps

Especially those from beer. My arsehole feels like it is squeezing out acid. My skin is slowly melting away, everything getting out of there is sour, and it just belongs to a weird laboratory, certainly not my body

Oh sure! Let’s make it twice today!!

I should have saved one for yesterday… 😠

I am cross with my arsehole!

It reply with much stink, and farts, and this crap is very difficult to clean! ☹️

Taking a shit today, I have just realised I lost a 240-day streak. FUCK!

Yesterday’s constipation had a baaaad consequence! 😦

A sudden, unexpected abruption of poop just reached my arse.

Actually, I felt some movements inside me, I could even hear eery sounds, but I thought it was kinda normal… well I was wrong. But I guess it’s fine.

Now though, please arse, let’s finish your job in time for Monza’s start! It’s almost time!!