Every day I take a shit in the morning, or at least I try.

I sit and push, hoping everything goes well. Nah, it doesn’t.

While doing so,I do two main things, followed by aimlessly scrolling Instagram’s homepage, I write my shit review on my shitty blog, this very one, and I learn german on Duolingo.

I like to stay efficient, you know, since I spend so much time on the toilet, I have to capitalise on that! Even if nobody pays for that 😂

This morning is a bit different from the others though, I have a flight to catch in a few hours, so I woke up early. Can’t really do the two things I just talked about, it’s too early, and both my mind and my body refuse to do so.

Well, I guess I’ll leave some special gifts on the way to the airport 😚

As for German lessons, I’ll give my best now, you know, CONSISTENCY IS KEY!

Lol. Me trying to poop this morning.

It’s just IMPOSSIBILE, Yesterday I shat even the unshittable

Ain’t nothing left here

I certainly don’t feel good.

Yesterday was the very first wedding of probably many of my close friends.

As it was doomed to happen, I drank like I didn’t give a damn of what the next day may have brought.

Yeah, that day has just began. This is the first shit of many, throughout the day

Why didn’t I stop drinking beer?

That’s what I ask myself on a Sunday morning, 4-hour slumber, constipated on the toilet.

Fuck.

Gotta leave home early this morning..

Have no time for a shit.

Wish me well!

Finally came the real stuff. Juicy long turds plenty of smell.

Yeah!

Now I’m gonna die asphyxiated!

Woke up at 5:00AM, something was happening in my bowels.

I sat on the toilet only now though, and there ain’t much to shit.

To he fair I am pretty disappointed…

A lot of shit to be made, yet no shit in the making. Can’t tell why, but this morning I am constipated

I couldn’t keep waiting aimlessly sitting on my toilet, so I had a shower and starting working at my laptop.

One hour later, Had to bail. My toilet is calling again.

A huge amount of shit, deployed!

I woke up with some cramps, now I’m sitting on the toilet and they’re gone…

Weird…

Let’s wait a few minutes here after this lonely turd and let’s see