the Shy Tird

Really, is thar all?

Gotta admit I thought I would have left much less than this behind me. Cool surprise!

The problem is I am in a rush. FAAAAAST

Yes, I am shitting

There’ve been working noises all the morning long from 8AM for the last two months, but this morning it seems likely they’ve finished.

Everything is so quiet. My eyes almost close, as I was falling back asleep…

But I am on the toilet! And even my morning session is so calm and relaxed. Stuff gets out easily, softly, peacefully….

There’s just one thing I would change: The smell.

Not so loose.

But great! I thought I would have felt worst this morning. NICE

I wake up, and the first thing I say is ‘I have to shit’

‘Good morning to you too’ says my girlfriend.

I am now shitting, but I have a bad feeling about this

Yeah, there actually was much more shit left… right as expected!

Finally SOME REAL SHEEET!

Probably that’s not yet all but at least it is something

Even if I ate a lot for dinner, this morning no shit happened. Right now I am trying, but nothing yet. Well, nothing worthy..

I’ve just realised 9 o’clock is my time limit to have a natural soft shit, if I somehow don’t manage to do it before that time, mg shit experience worsens

Right now I feel like I’m right above the limit, and what’s inside just prays to stay inside, even if I’m pushing hard outside.

Well… shit happens

*THE TIME FINALLY CAME!*

Luckily I got back home after lunch, and worked on my laptop the whole afternoon long, farts frequency becoming more and more dense and their sound and smell more and more intense.

I was then folding my robes, when the last fart announced itself: ‘I am the last one, after me there is something less gassy, more likely solid, I am the last one indeed.

Right. There I am now, sitting on my toilet. There actually was some in-between fart, not a real one, not some shit. It was a sudden bomb of both. After that only a devastation of oil-like shit.

Yeah, it was devastating. But now I am feeling MUUUCH BETTER!!!

I can go have some workout now!!

I feel bad. Everything is still there.

I don’t feel particularly good… there’s something huge inside me, or at least it feels like it…

But nooothing gets out.

And I am in a rush, so I can’t even spend much time to try

Shame…

I had pizza for dinner. This should be all to describe what it means.

But let’s just spend a few more words. The bomb is pretty well hidden, I feel it coming, but it just stays inside…

I guess I’ll just wait for it to compromise my day

Happy morning, had breakfast with a strawberry-nutella crepe, and My day begins pretty greatly!

Also because it gives the right push to my bowels :3

Too late

Right, apparently I haven’t discharged enough during the wonderful night I spent, let’s do another bit of spongy poop at work!

Niiiiice! Here we go!!! 🚂

All right, great! I am wide awake, I went for a run, and my bowels never got to sleep.

Right now it is producing.

Can’t say I haven’t tried to put my bowels into sleep, but it just couldn’t.

Just a little turd is what they said

Something is keeping me awake…

Well, let’s just say, my intestines have to think for a while.

Yeah, I have philosophical bowels

I had a wonderful lunch. Great. Huge.

Thing is, I now have to recover. First shit at a great time!

Lately I ate stuff like I was an animal, I didn’t care about what it was or where it came.

I just ate and drank everything.

Good. Everything was good and nice and I was happy of doing so. But now I am experiencing the drawback….. 🔥

My arsehole burns, and I think I could stay on this toilet for ever.

Btw, taking a shit in the morning, even before breakfast, even before having anything said, it’s weird. This morning my first words came from my arse, and what it said was not pleasant at alll!

Heavy words

Ate dinner at the Indian restaurant, left, a little spliff, and I urged the toilet

We just arrived in a Bar called BAR, and I can shit.

Now I am free of choosing the right drink

My head hurts, my bowels took me awake the whole night, that wine compromised me.

Fuck. I can’t even focus on my shitting right now.

It’s brutal, but when it happens is normal. i shouldn’t have drank, I should have eaten something more. Health is important, intestines health is VITAL!

A little OT – but not much – I’ve decided for a little re-branding of my Instagram page. I’ve always used it for re-publishing my blog posts, but it’s stupid, it’s fucking time-keeping, and it just doubles what I already do on my website, so I want to set it as another thing. Probably Imma make some digestion health posts, and sone poop-meme related, and I’ve decided to take some help to run it. My helper will be ChatGPT

Some very spongy shit.

I was planning a little reprisal session after breakfast, but my girlfriend’s flatmate pierced in the bathroom.

I immediately got out and took the bus. Arrived home in ten minutes, gotta be at the office in thirty, forty minutes.

I am now sitting on my own toilet, home sweet home, and I am plenty of time to develop the right amount of poop. In this case there ain’t no actual right amount, it is what lighten me, it is what makes me live a placid day.

In the hope that’s all, I can now leave the bathroom and focus on the job.

See you later, toiletter

Yesterday I had lunch with pasta, Dinner with lentils. When I moved the duvet this morning I smelled the dump. Had to immediately seal the whole bed-setting and I had no intention of waking myself up.

Then, after five minutes of procrastinating in bed, something kicked in. I felt something moving inside my belly.

Had to abruptly wake up. Now I am on the toilet, my arse burns, the whole environment surrounding me is compromised. The bathroom is now toxic. Nobody can enter… nobody can get out. Trapped. Imma die here. Goodbye everyone. Life’s been nice!

Not so great…

I am farting all around, and all that I produced are just some dried prunes

I’m not particularly satisfied by the poop I’m pooping this morning.

Too much time has passed since I woke up, and my mind is elsewhere already..

Great! My stomach is now full, I am plenty of energy, and my day can begin.

Very untrue. I’m missing a step here, doing some shit.

Yesterday I took a huge burger, and two pints with climbing mates, I loved it, but my bowels hate beer, so this morning, as expected, is lamenting. The way to express their disapproval is keeping me peeled to the toilet seat.

Great!