the Shy Tird

Somewhat constipated.

Eventually took a shit: one nugget.

2/10 shit today.

AND.

No nothing, my day’s not worth living now 😡

Chilli for lunch, premium kebab for dinner.

Yesterday was a great day!

Now, constipation all along

Maybe – only maybe – I didn’t thought it thoroughly when I ate chili for lunch…

I still have some meetings in the afternoon …..

And I’m now on the toilet…:

Today I made a fair amount of poop

At first I was constipated. In fact I spent the first two hours of my morning routine just full of shit.

Now, finally, after one hour at my workdesk I feel it.

My workdesk now moves for some of minutes on the toilet.

My day can actually begin, now!

Fuck WHY?

I am constipated today. Why cant it just work fine???

Fuck!

Desperately needed a shit while going to sleep. But in the morning not even a turd. My belly bloating.

I then go to the bathroom. I rest for a while, uh! Some shit.

Not enough.

3/10

Constipated sunday

Goooood shit.

I mean. Probably the best I’ve had in months.

Very nice.

Fair and clean.

10/10

Poor sleep means also my bowels are poor. Poor bowels 😦

Threw just a few liiittle shitballs

Feeling shit. After the wedding I attended last weekend me and at least 4 other invitees are reporting the same symptoms.

I guess its another covid wave. Fuck it.

Btw, at least it is not compromising my bowels too.

They seem happy and working as beautifully as ever.

Efficiency!

Loose shit.

Great!

I don’t have much to say about this morning shit. Frankly I’ve had worse, and even better.

So it an honest 5/10

So, today, some loose shit. Why? Don’t know.

It is what it is.

GM

After a constipated morning, and another 45-minute nap 🫩

My bowels are now ready to produce something. But

But just something.

So disappointing.

3/10

Oh shit much shit.

Content nausea, too

Shit. Fuck

Gotta lay down

Ok, well. Yesterday I was at a wedding.

Well. I feel unwell now.

You know… weddings are weddings…

Ever since I got my SmartWatch, I took the habit to monitor my sleep every day. Today the Health App says I slept poorly, for 5h46m.

24minutes of which, I’ve spent on the toilet. Between 5:58 and 6:22. My memories are a little confused, but I clearly remember I was struggling. There was pain. There was regret. There was my cat trying to knead- While I was pushing and sweating. It was the worst part of the wedding. Yeah.

And you know, at one point I’ve just finished not just because it was the end, but because I couldn’t cope with the bad smell. It was utter EVIL!

I’ve had enough of this summer.

I need my routine back. One with vegetables and fruit and les alcohol.

My bowels is protesting with another constipated morning

Why do I love my friend so much?

Every time we go out drinking is always excess.

2 litres beers on an empty stomach…. mhh… it wasn’t the best idea…

And not on a weekend…

Let’s leave the quality or my sleep out of this, I feel diarrhoea inside me and yet I’m constipated

Evil

Shit got out in trouble

So what about it?

Woke up by diarrhoea.

I don’t understand though, how – and why – my body waited until today to present me with this. It’s been days I’ve been eating and drinking not caring about the consequences, and the consequences never came…

How – and why – the fuck my bowels only waited until I was back home to do so…

Well… fine….

Let’s go back to work-shitty-days!

Not that I hate my job… shitty as for real SHIT!

Forgot to mention the moment i arrived at the beshc this morning.

Flat calm. I was bursting.

“Ah, what a perfect moment for a swim,” I thought…

So I dove in and went for a proper swim. First to the nearest buoy… then the farther one. Then to the rocks… until I found the perfect spot. Hidden from everyone.

That’s when I settle down, pull my swimsuit down and—PLOP! I push hard, and out comes the turd.

Ahhh, what a way to end the holidays…

No shit today 😦

Forgot to mention I was forced to bing eating for the whole past weekend, at my mother-in-law.

It’s been good. Yeah, everything is always very good at her’s.

But you know, this is my first shit at home and… it’s HUGE!

It’s a good shit

I think my problem is whole mental.

I mean, almost, there is some kind of sensitivity for beer pizza and stuff, sure! Some IBS probably… sure!

But in the end, everything can be bypassed by our mind. HIM/HER (whatever) is capable of almost anything, our mind is our only God.

Telling all of this because I’ve just found a way to overcome my constipation – or at least it that’s what now worked – after few pointless attempts, pushing and pulling my anus, just one turd got out. It was just normal, dry. Clearly not the right amount I was expecting (and suffering from).

So what I did was wiping, cleaning my anus and then forcing violating it with my finger. Just a bit. At first was very closed, than – gently – little by little I got in, did a few in-and-outs, and I was good to go.

It worked, I felt stimulus, I cleaned everything thoroughly and I jumped back on my toilet.

Shit cleared the way out.

Nice.

Woah.

Wonderful.

I intervened physically to a clear mental problem. Our self Awareness makes us humans, but it also bugs our self-animal. It was kind of unnatural, kind of unkind to my own self, but I did ask for consent, and I allowed it so nothing wrong about it. I just wish I don’t need this

Pizza tonight?

Yup.

Awake for the whole night.

My bowels fucked up.

Now, after three hours being awake, something unlocked, a turd got out.

Only one.

The rest is echoes of beer and pizza, burping out.

Still, my brains don’t allow sleeping before all of this is gone.

But it is still there.

Shit

Pop pop shit

I slept poorly.

Probably it was the heat’s fault, probably it was my cats’, probably it was because of that random McDonald’s we ate at 2AM…

We were hungry and there wasn’t much else still open.

As I woke up, after just 4 hour of sleep, first thing I did was sitting on my toilet, but even before anything could happen, I saw some diarrhoea on my shower plate.

I was still thinking I’m dreaming, but then I realised couldn’t be mine.

When did the cat eat that mcdonalds’?

Something’s not right.

I swear I’m not sleeping!

Wiping it up was degrading

My arsehole is shooting pebbles

8/10. Shit deployed in a matter of minutes

Can’t believe it! No troubles at all!