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last   poops

Wednesday, 15 January 2025 | 8:36 AM

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Have you ever spent too much time sitting on the toilet, and your shit dried up around your arsehole, making it impossible to clean properly with toilet paper?

Well, that happened to me today.

Wednesday, 15 January 2025 | 8:17 AM

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Yesterday my girlfriend asked me to prepare my tortilla – even if she can cook very well she says my tortillas are the best, or perhaps she just didn’t want to cook, lol – and I did.

They were delicious indeed, vegan and all, healthy and environment friendly, but you know, beans, spicy, veggies…

Laxative effect!

It was difficult to share our one bathroom this morning, and even after she got out, I still find difficulties. My belly bloats, by arsehole farts, and keeps farting.

How does this stop?

Shit.

Btw, if anybody’s interested, here’s my recipe.

–

1. Guac

Mash up two ripe avocados with the juice of 1½ limes. Chuck in two sliced spring onions and a handful of chopped coriander. Done.

2. Rice

Cook 100g basmati rice. Toss in three chopped sun-dried tomatoes and a squeeze of half a lime. Mix it up.

3. Chilli

Heat a splash of olive oil in a pan, fry four chopped onions for 5 mins. Add a teaspoon of cumin, a chopped habanero, and three crumbled dried chillies. Stir, then chuck in 100g tomato sauce, cook 5 mins. Add a tin of red beans (150g), 100g sweetcorn, and a diced pepper. Cook 5 more mins. Stir well.

4. Wrap it up

Warm a tortilla, slap on two spoons of rice, two of chilli, and two of guac. Top with shredded lettuce. Roll it tight. Eat.

Monday, 13 January 2025 | 12:22 PM

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Abruptly startled by a massive diarrhoea.

Luckily I work from home and I could easily transfer my laptop to the loo.

Perhaps that Nutella bread as a snack was a little overwhelming…

Monday, 13 January 2025 | 8:20 AM

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There isn’t much to say about my morning shit session, beside the fact I’ve been sitting here for way too long. My legs now hurt, and my arsehole is going to prolapse :/

Sunday, 12 January 2025 | 8:24 AM

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Uhm… a little top rushy.

Me don’t like it, me arsehole neither.

A few turds in the hole.

But I needed more time… I was attached to them! They were attached to me!

Saturday, 11 January 2025 | 9:00 AM

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My 8-hour sleep – very uncommon to me – almost cured my cold.

Although, I woke up with my bowels hurting, dunno why, perhaps just farts?

I made some farts indeed, and took a shit already, but keep sitting on the toilet, I still feel this abdominal pain…

Weird…

Oh well, at least this morning consistency was great! 8/10!

Friday, 10 January 2025 | 7:55 AM

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Hard shit this morning hurts my arsehole.

You know, those turds as sharp as a knife…

Not nice, not nice…. but at least they’re out!

I’d give 6/10 but I feel like the amount was unfair… 5/10 is better