My slumber gets interrupted at least once during the night, I’m used to take a wee, after that, I normally fall back asleep, but it’s not uncommon for me to just wake up and start my day earlier. Normally my girlfriend keeps sleeping while I work at my laptop.

This morning happened exactly that, but my girlfriend woke up too. She was sleepy, but she needed an urgent shit, diarrhoea.

We ate Brussel’s sprouts for dinner, which I prepared with love and, frankly speaking, they were particularly good!

Now, I know they could help bowels movements, but I wasn’t prepared for this…

Our morning wasn’t as usual, we didn’t just had an earlier breakfast, we could also profit from this extra time for taking our cat’s faeces.

He spent the last months having diarrhoea, he’s long haired so every time this happened he dirt his legs in shit, bringing it everywhere in the house, forcing us to change our beddings almost every day…

Well, today was the day our vet asked for the crap sample, so we put gloves on, and patiently waited for him to take a shit. It was liquid, OBVIOUSLY!

Well, we took it anyway, put it in a zip pack and in the fridge. Then my girlfriend cleaned the floor while I was doing the dishes.

I thought our shitty morning was already eventful enough, when I felt Brussel’s kicking in.

‘GOTTA RUSH!’ I screamed.

‘But it’s still wet!’

I had no time nor force to reply, I dashed to the toilet almost falling on the ground because of the slipperiness.

Than a two-second silence, followed by an outburst. BOOM.

My morning has begun.

Fast shit. Hate it but today is a workday for me.

Just woke up.

Shit

Guess what, I must get out ASAP, but I’m stuck on the toilet.

I’m supposed to get back home late today, as I’ve got plenty of things to do, so I’m trying to expel as much shit as possible. Had chili for dinner, you know!

Btw, being on a rush stresses out my bowels… resulting in a bit of constipation.

Hence, IDK, shall I just go or stay?

At least some scrunchies got out.

They’re not crunchy thoug…

My belly hurts, I had no shit yesterday, but I also ate Korean spicy udon for lunch and Mexican chili for dinner…

I feel like the shit I produced is not enough to cope with that…

Dunno, not much to say. Woke up at 3:45AM.

Not much ready to take a shit yet. But I should, yet don’t get out.

Whatever.

Dull.

Hate it.

Bye

You know those moments you realise you have more shit to do, but you realise it only when you’re already washing your bum?

Yeah, just what is happening right now.

And you have to get back sitting on the toilet.

You know, I spend some 20/30 minutes here on the throne every day

Dunno, dumb shit

Lentils for dinner.

You already know everything you didn’t even wanted to know about my shit this morning

KFC for lunch, ends up in diarrhoea

Well, after that dinner at Chinese restaurant I was expecting some diarrhoea or something, but actually, nothing. Just dull normal shit

Luckily got back home.

Sat on throne.

Extruded some tirds.

Feel better.

My day can begin

Every time I ask my girlfriend to borrow her car I found myself in times of trouble.

Gotta get out fast, do everything fast, breakfast, washing, even shit, because I have to take her to her job place.

Know what? CAN’T DOO!

Been on the toilet for twenty minutes and now I am late. am constipated and I hate it and I will feel bad for the rest of the day.

Grrrrr