the Shy Tird

After an utter constipated day, my bowels finally decide it’s time to shit. I feel it’s not finished though, much else to go.

Let’s push and wait…

Yesterday there was a double party, two of my friends had their birthdays. They took a lot of pizzas as snack/dinner. Thing is it was my FAVOURITE PIZZA EVER!

I couldn’t help but eating three of them…
Now the risult is I an constipated.
I am sitting on the toilet, but nothing is happening, nothing is moving. I feel myself stuffed, but I can’t free the burden.

Help me! Help me! Otherwise I am going to explode!

I almost finished preparing myself, I was about to dress myself up and go to work, BUT, my BUTT was a BIT against it.

I am back on the toilet. A lot of shit was left to do. And yeah, I foresaw it, but this doesn’t make it milder

It hurts

I’m not used to eat at fast foods anymore, and even have a drink afterwards.

Yesterday, I went out with a friend of mine and I did everything of that. Now I am making just a part of shit. Some kind of diarrhoea is coming

Eventually, the second wave actually came.

My job is done here!

Let’s be cautious on this, it is not sure to be taking another pile of shit, a fair amount is already laying down the toilet, but I feel there’s more.

It could come easy, or it could not, hence defining a difficult day at the office for my bowels. But let’s see… time brings answers

Thing is I’d like to analyse my shit every day, I am really curious on when kind of microscopical stuff is there inside.

Today for example, there must be traces of those tarts I copiously ate yesterday at that political reception

I was freaking waiting for this amount of shit!

I just wish it came early, perhaps in the early morning, so I could have gone back to sleep…

Nah, it came just now, I am at my parents for a family lunch. There ain’t nothing like the toilet I grew up on… so much memories… so good…

Tryna having a shit in the morning. I had some spicy and delicious Korean dish for dinner, and I slept poorly. My body doesn’t work like all the other. On the weekend I just can’t recover my sleep, it is the moment when I damage it.

And my bowels too!

When I was approaching the bed last night, I noticed I didn’t have any shit at all for two days. I felt my bowels bloating, and I wasn’t feeling well.

I thought I would have slept poorly, but instead I slept for quite a while. Well, sure enough, after this restoring slumber I am now on my toilet, doing the very most important job of my life: having a shit

Fuck, I’ve been sitting on the toilet for a long time now, but I ain’t been able to take any shit

I am frankly disappointed

Sitting on my uncle and auntie’s toilet. No shit happens. Litterally

Every day I take a shit in the morning, or at least I try.

I sit and push, hoping everything goes well. Nah, it doesn’t.

While doing so,I do two main things, followed by aimlessly scrolling Instagram’s homepage, I write my shit review on my shitty blog, this very one, and I learn german on Duolingo.

I like to stay efficient, you know, since I spend so much time on the toilet, I have to capitalise on that! Even if nobody pays for that 😂

This morning is a bit different from the others though, I have a flight to catch in a few hours, so I woke up early. Can’t really do the two things I just talked about, it’s too early, and both my mind and my body refuse to do so.

Well, I guess I’ll leave some special gifts on the way to the airport 😚

As for German lessons, I’ll give my best now, you know, CONSISTENCY IS KEY!

Lol. Me trying to poop this morning.

It’s just IMPOSSIBILE, Yesterday I shat even the unshittable

Ain’t nothing left here

I certainly don’t feel good.

Yesterday was the very first wedding of probably many of my close friends.

As it was doomed to happen, I drank like I didn’t give a damn of what the next day may have brought.

Yeah, that day has just began. This is the first shit of many, throughout the day

Why didn’t I stop drinking beer?

That’s what I ask myself on a Sunday morning, 4-hour slumber, constipated on the toilet.

Fuck.

Gotta leave home early this morning..

Have no time for a shit.

Wish me well!

Finally came the real stuff. Juicy long turds plenty of smell.

Yeah!

Now I’m gonna die asphyxiated!

Woke up at 5:00AM, something was happening in my bowels.

I sat on the toilet only now though, and there ain’t much to shit.

To he fair I am pretty disappointed…

A lot of shit to be made, yet no shit in the making. Can’t tell why, but this morning I am constipated

I couldn’t keep waiting aimlessly sitting on my toilet, so I had a shower and starting working at my laptop.

One hour later, Had to bail. My toilet is calling again.

A huge amount of shit, deployed!