Monday, 2 December 2019 | 07:13 AM

Finally I get myself up back to my (not) favourite time!

This time my mindset’s not ready for life, not my eyes, not even my anus! Which miserably feels raped by not-so-shy tirds I got to urge them out.

This way though, Monday could begin.

Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 12:00 PM

I was relaxed, working on my computer when suddenly intestinal cramping came. Worst and worst, I could not even run.
You know, I don’t believe in any of that karma stuff, yet sometimes I smell a rat.

From the stink I dare say that rat died two years ago, and they used to make my kebab.

Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 10:08 AM

Yesterday I had a doner kebab for dinner, despite my recent tendencies towards reducing meat, I wanted it so badly!

Once I sinned, there was no way for redemption, so I went for the jalapeño chilis and a lot of spicy sauce.

I woke up, prepared myself my usual milk and corn flakes, then I had to run for the loo.

My bowels was hurting intensely. Now my anus burns, but I am clear again!

Hence my advent calendar could now smoothly begin.

Saturday, 30 November 2019 | 10:06 PM

Right. Bit late isn’t it?

Kebab kills

Saturday, 30 November 2019 | 02:46 PM

Nothing worth talking about.

Friday, 29 November 2019 | 07:34 PM

Here comes the third tirdpedo of the day.
That’s what I call a BLACK friday!

Friday, 29 November 2019 | 09:52 AM

Here is the second torpedo.

Or what it has left of it. It melted.

Friday, 29 November 2019 | 07:49 AM

Choices are extremely important in life, just like the one I made yesterday.

Should I or should I not eat lentils for dinner?

Hell! I did eat them! So my arse has just launched the first turpedo.

Thursday, 28 November 2019 | 10:31 PM

Here is my third shat of the day.

With it I just initiate my new phone.

Great.

Thursday, 26 November 2019 | 03:22 PM

While the rest of the world can’t wait for black friday, I already had a bit of a brown thursday.

Thursday, 28 November 2019 | 07:54 AM

Every freaking time I eat pizza my belly ends up tackling over-collected air pressure.

You know car tyres has their own right pressure, they tend to deflate, then you’ve got to inflate them back.

My intestine works just the other way around: it keeps inflating.

Problem is I cannot release gas with the cap still on!

Morning afters like this one are so satisfying. Yet it is a hard job. A naughty one.

Luckily my sturdy stomach got used to that.

Wednesday, 27 November 2019 | 09:47 AM

Gee! I almost broke my record!

This tird was not shy whatsoever!

Must have been at least 8’’!

Tuesday, 26 November 2019 | 08:07 AM

There is something mystic about loos in the morning: sun shading shapes through the shallow window.

I feel like a philosopher today. Can’t tell why for sure. Must be faeces inhalations.

Monday, 25 November 2019 | 07:37 PM

‘Pop pop’ My colon says.

I returned the call delivering the parcel.

Monday, 25 November 2019 | 02:35 PM

Just got home after having paid the fine I deserved following my car crash.
My arse burns.