Uhm. Constipation the morning after eating pizza is my life conviction.

And my bowels bloat

Just arrived at my friend’s house by the beach.

Am supposed to be glad and compliment him and the house….

But, you know, I have a little problem…

DIARRHOEA!

Sorry mate, my bowels have their own ways to cheer

Pretty obvious ain’t it?

Days of diarrhoea, weakness and illness, today nothing to expel!

Yet, no improvements. Just diarrhoea all along

Morning, yet the same loose shit I’ve been having yesterday and the whole night.

Feel terrible

Keep burping yesterday’s lunch

Back home.

Just liquid shit. Can’t move.

Feeling weak, feeling harsh

Ah, the joys of a weekend with the mother-in-law — all those rich, greasy delights lovingly shoved down my throat like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. My gut, however, was less enthused.

Three hours into the drive home, it gave up. Spectacularly.

So here I am, squatting in a field somewhere off the A-road, trousers around my ankles, mid-diarrhoeic symphony. Each release a hot jazz solo, alternating between melting chocolate gelato and what I can only describe as digestive regret.

Liberating? Absolutely.

But the flies. Oh god, the flies. They’ve declared war on my arsehole, my thighs, my very soul. And the tall grass tickling my legs feels oddly flirtatious, as if Mother Nature herself were whispering, “You chose this, darling.”

Anyway, my boewls still hurt like hell.

I really do hope I make it home.

I was actually waiting for this shit.

Before just farts and a few pebbles, but right now, an endless stream of diarrhoea

Mh, my farty bum taking shit.

Finally some shit actually worth calling SHIT!

My bowels feel now empty

Took a shit.

ABNORMAL DAAAAYYY

I made a shit today even if I ate pizza yesterday. It’s amazing. First non-constipated day after eating pizza in a veeeey long time!

I’ve started working out 2/3 a week, would that be influent?

Think so.

Oh well.

Fitness is important guys! For your bowels! and your general health!

Fair amount of poop.

No complains

7/10

Wasn’t expecting this morning diarrhoea.

My ear pain worsened, my slumber got poorer.

Sure, my shit couldn’t just be good…

I understand that.

Hate it, but it’s comprehensible…

Another.

Another shit.

Another bad shit.

Another bad shit hits.

Another bad shit hits me.

Slept poorly.

A little because of worries.

A little because of this pressure I feel in my left ear. Feels like it’s going to explode at any moment. I think there’s some water trapped inside. This shit is getting me crazy!

A little because of the heat. I guess summer is coming.

A little because of our dinner. My girlfriend prepared her mother’s fish with potatoes, it has lots of flavours, it’s cooked with some alchool, spices, fresh herbs…

Whatever.

Tried to sleep for some time, then went working at my laptop, just until that sudden abdominal pain I – frankly too often – felt.

Rushed to the loo.

My arsehole looks like a grenade has just exploded. The loo looks like this too.

Me? Who cares about me. It’s just my bowels that matter! Can’t think about nothing right now!

IT’S JUST PAIN!

Oh… and it reeks here…

GM? Btw