Saturday, 29 February 2020 | 10:18 AM

In a very small pond there once was a little snake, the little snake was a she, and it just turned child-bearing. No one knows how did the little snake fell into the cold small pond, and yet she was unlucky, she couldn’t get out. For not breathing she died in there.

Years after years passed by, and the little snake disappeared, decomposed. No one remembers it, so she simply stop existing. All that remains of her was a white egg. A perfect-sphere-shaped egg.

After so many years that little cold pond had become a wide big lake. Freezing, misty, eerie, that lake was. The egg hatched, and the cold spirit of the lake had risen.

Some say every men who swims at night in the cold cold lake just die. Some say a huge monster lives in the cold lake. Some say there’s a Mythical pre-historical creature protecting the lake.

Nobody knows the truth. The only thing I know is I definitely beat my record. I shat a tird longer than the Loch Ness Monstress!

Friday, 28 February 2020 | 07:45 PM

Let this weekend begin. Which for me just means another week’s coming.

But here’s an happy fact: I just developed an app which let you send pictures of your shat to another random user using the app.

Just kidding! Still, an idea is an idea…

Friday, 28 February 2020 | 08:18 AM

Every morning, I sit, I linger for a while, fidgeting, reading, writing crap on the net.

Feels like be sitting in a waiting room. I mean, nothing wrong about it, it’s fine! I perceptively feel once it gets to my turn. Only a bit awkward if the waiting room is plenty of people waiting for the same turn.

Picture it.

Friday, 28 February 2020 | 01:30 AM

This shit’s acid.

I mean it’s really rancid, smelling bad. Its fetid. Bad. Very bad.

Can’t be that-poached-egg-I-had-for-dinner‘s fault. I mean…. It was simply perfect. Never before I had achieved this level. Simply neat!

Thursday, 27 February 2020 | 07:34 PM

As hours pass by,

Your anus as tight,

Crap piles high

And you can’t make it right

Eventually I shat a spike.

Thursday, 27 February 2020 | 07:21 AM

Hell! Since I quitted running – for working way too much – I don’t shit every morning anymore.

I’m a broken swiss-made watch no one can fix.

Wednesday, 26 February 2020 | 07:15 PM

Rushing all day so much, my anus’ tight as fuck. And I need a shit.

Wednesday, 26 February 2020 | 07:22 AM

Dull. That’s what I am defining my shit today.

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:52 PM

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Imma go to bed,

My shit’s like glue.

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:31 AM

Uh, and by the way, my shots today are compact and looks really nice. Nice for a tird, I mean

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:25 AM

To complete my bowels adventure – and close it – I ate at my favourite Chinese restaurant for dinner.

Surprisingly I woke myself up with no air inside. How did this happen?

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 10:55 PM

Today’s been a long day. I had no shit whatsoever.

And, do you remember chickpeas? Well I found these German-brand vegan snacks at home, must have been one of my uncles gifts – he works as a salesman for supermarket blabla. I can’t speak a word of German so I had to read the pictures. It was a caramelised hazelnut, or at least that’s what my still-sleepy-mind has thought… well, they were chickpeas, dehydrated spiced chickpeas.

And the farts went on.

And I just shat.

And it’s spongy.

And I’m relieved now.

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 06:46 AM

Yes, my bowels’ still inflated.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 11:34 PM

It’s just harsh. I’m plenty of farts I can’t expel. It’s compelling, I just can’t sleep. FUCK ME

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 06:38 PM

It’s so nice when you’re phoning your friends while pooping.