Monday, 20 January 2020 | 11:09 AM

I think shitposting is The Modern Thing.

And I am so proud being part of it!

Sunday, 26 January 2020 | 11:44 PM

Today’s been great. I basically went tripping with a friend of mine to visit a building wreck. It used to be a residence by the sea, everything was tearing apart apart from the building skeleton itself. Cement made. Pretty strong.

We skipped lunch. And I emitted about twenty-four loud farts. That was amusing.

Sunday, 26 January 2020 | 09:40 AM

Sun is up in the sky, birds fly high, not even a breath of wind.

Such a great day to have a trip shit!

Saturday, 25 January 2020 | 12:56 PM

There was something amazing I was going to write today!
But I forgot.

Friday, 24 January 2020 | 11:19 PM

Finally home. Warm, cozy toilet and a sweet sour scent.

Friday, 24 January 2020 | 08:39 PM

Fuck! I’m at the beach with my fisherman friend. It’s shitty windy and I desperately need a shit!

Harsh.

Friday, 24 January 2020 | 09:53 AM

The explosive beans effect:

When you are constantly on a budget, especially at the end of the week, you’ve got to face the fact you got nothing left in the fridge. You open the cupboard, nothing apart from some opened rice boxes and a can of kidney beans. Wait a minute it can’t be! Let me open the fridge again! I knew that! There’s an onion left… well actually it is just a small piece of an onion. It’ll go! It must.

So you boil your rice, drain your beans, cut the onion and put it all together. It taste nice. It must.

Then you go to bed, you still feel your stomach going sour whilst beans inflate your belly.

You get up, feeling very relaxed, kinda floating in mid-air, then you dive for your loo, you sit on the toilet and you make a fart last 5 seconds. You’re satisfied.

You go have breakfast, you still feel drowsy, then you go have a shower.

Now that I’m in the toilet I’ll just sit for a moment on my throne…

…AND HERE IT COMES! Explosion from your insides!

BBEEAANNSS EEFFEECCTT STROKE AGAIN!

Thursday, 23 January 2020 | 06:27 PM

What if an elephant enters in a room and nobody’s there?

Is that particular fat elephant really inside that room?

Can anybody tell if that very fat elephant is real?

No, my poop smells.

Thursday, 23 January 2020 | 12:35 PM

Shat at the shopping mall achieved.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 08:37 PM

Have you ever tried pooping with al the lights turned off, intentionally?

Don’t do it. It’s dumb.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 04:17 PM

That was close!
Something peeked out.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 01:31 PM

There are days like this: me working on my laptop from closet.

Tuesday, 21 January 2020 | 10:50 PM

It’s been more than three months now since I started to dedicate more time and thoughts to my shats.

You know, I really love my introspective poops now; I’ve always had some, that’s for sure, though now these moments are even better.

Cheers to contemplative shats!

Now. Please arse, make me finish this one. I’ve got stuff to do!

Tuesday, 22 January 2020 | 09:31 AM

Let’s just begin this lacky-sleep day with a few pops!

Tuesday, 21 January 2020 | 01:43 AM

I just realised an entire day just passed without me taking a shit.

I am still working non stop since when I woke up this morning.

It’s so weird the way stress affects my body. I just farted all day long.