Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:52 PM

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Imma go to bed,

My shit’s like glue.

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:31 AM

Uh, and by the way, my shots today are compact and looks really nice. Nice for a tird, I mean

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:25 AM

To complete my bowels adventure – and close it – I ate at my favourite Chinese restaurant for dinner.

Surprisingly I woke myself up with no air inside. How did this happen?

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 10:55 PM

Today’s been a long day. I had no shit whatsoever.

And, do you remember chickpeas? Well I found these German-brand vegan snacks at home, must have been one of my uncles gifts – he works as a salesman for supermarket blabla. I can’t speak a word of German so I had to read the pictures. It was a caramelised hazelnut, or at least that’s what my still-sleepy-mind has thought… well, they were chickpeas, dehydrated spiced chickpeas.

And the farts went on.

And I just shat.

And it’s spongy.

And I’m relieved now.

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 06:46 AM

Yes, my bowels’ still inflated.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 11:34 PM

It’s just harsh. I’m plenty of farts I can’t expel. It’s compelling, I just can’t sleep. FUCK ME

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 06:38 PM

It’s so nice when you’re phoning your friends while pooping.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 02:38 PM

CoronaVirus is making the world kneel, in the meanwhile I shit and fart and fart and fart and shit chickpeas.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 01:16 PM

Why don’t we invent a giant human to compost trash?
We will feed him rubbish, he’ll give us free manure.

If we’re lucky we could even find out he’s a pleasant company too!

Saturday, 22 February 2020 | 06:41 PM

I’m starting to feel better only now.

Saturday, 22 February 2020 | 05:07 PM

I wake up after a short nap and I feel my stomach burning, my belly swollen like a balloon filled with toxic gas.

What the fuck!

It’s like having Chernobyl inside me. 😕

Saturday, 22 February 2020| 02:14 PM

Time passes and they still haven’t found a cure against poop

Saturday, 22 February 2020 | 04:27 AM

Yeah, why not? Just a little poop in the middle of the night. It is fine.

Friday, 21 February 2020 | 06:58 PM

And it’s a huuuuge number one!

I get back home, undress myself, sit in the toilet.

As I spread my cheeks, release my bowels, a huge long tird gets extruded out.

It was hard to feel if it was still clinging to my anus, so I took a flash-picture.

Beyond all my expectations the tird split in two parts, forming a perfect number one.

I have got proofs. (Disclaimer: crap content)

Friday, 21 February 2020 | 06:21 PM

Stifling hard.

I had this great terrible idea to go celebrating with my friends at a sushi restaurant- AYCE.

Now I’m holding on tightly, still on the bus. Repressing all my rotten-egg scented farts.

Sushi’s great, when’s not coming off your butt.