Saturday, 18 April 2020 | 09:00 AM

Today I’ve held it inside until exaclty nine o’clock, for no reason whatsoever.

That’s the maximum level of creativity I’m able to exploit under this conditions.

Wait! What kind of sorcery is this? My tirds are now magically whirlwinding forming a perfect number nine inside my toilet!

Aaaaa! Help me! It’s sucking me out!

Friday, 17 April 2020 | 05:44 PM

I think even my toilet is sick of my crap everyday

Friday, 17 April 2020 | 10:49 AM

Some posts are fillers.

Thursday, 16 April 2020 | 10:57 PM

I just finished watching HBO’s Watchmen. Now I wonder, does Doctor Manhattan shit?

And if so, are they actual meteors?

Thursday, 16 April 2020 | 04:07 PM

The real question is: is global sewage system ready for this?

Thursday, 16 April 2020 | 12:58 PM

This freaking quarantine is depriving me of all the adventurous shats all around the world. Same toilet every day, that’s dull!

Wednesday, 15 April 2020 | 10:33 AM

Headache grows stronger when I toil in my toilet for pooping.

Ouch.

Tuesday, 14 April 2020 | 11:03 AM

We (as human species) have been pooping ever since before we were grouped in societies, even before we were able to speak, even before we were homo sapiens.

Still, talking about crap is the biggest taboo.

Tuesday, 14 April 2020 | 12:13 AM

Let’s bet.

Will my crap float or will it sink?

Let me have a look.

:drum roll:

It floats!!

Sunday, 12 April 2020 | 09:41 PM

Easter shat take #2

Egg-shaped tirds lol

Sunday, 12 April 2020 | 12:51 PM

Uhhh nice! I woke myself up and ate as many chocolate eggs as I could before reaching that stupid point when your throat aches.

BTW Happy Easter from the Crap Balster!

Saturday, 11 April 2020 | 09:56 AM

Apparently lack of sleep increases risk of cancer, and many other diseases: Matt Walker claims ‘the shorter your sleep, the shorter your life’.

I wonder if sleep deprivation is also a cause of constipation 🤔

I mean, seriously!

I just finished watching an interesting documentary about how come Jackson Pollock is so famous. Apparently he became so because of his art patron Clement Greenberg.

Thus I decided I just need to find an influent critic and persuade him to write about me, convincing him this website is the contemporary art we all were waiting for.

Sure.

Thursday, 9 April 2020 | 05:43 PM

I shall enter in the Guinness World records for the most number of shit reports ever.

For sure this category does not exist. Yet.

Thursday, 9 April 2020 | 08:10 AM

If I shat gold, I’d be a multi-billionaire.