Tuesday, 5 May 2020 | 10:21 AM

Consistency. That’s a necessity of this lifetime work

Monday, 4 May 2020 | 11:11 AM

I reckon I’ve never posted at 11:11.

How odd! Those numbers really look like these 4 tirds I just arse-crafted.

One-shaped tirds!

On fire.

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 04:41 PM

I could shit so many times in a day! I feel so blessed! 🤩

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 02:06 PM

I could definitely fall asleep in here, sitting on this white china, with a tird hanging from my butthole.

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 08:05 AM

Anyone wants a smoothie?

Thursday, 30 April 2020 | 02:48 PM

Wonderful day for a second shat!

I am starting wondering: what will it be of this blog adventure once summer comes and I’ll shit in the water? I can’t take my phone with me!

Thursday, 30 April 2020 | 11:04 AM

Today’s a very special day. It is my dad’s birthday!

You know, everything I learned sitting here I learned from him. He is the real Shit Master!

Not joking. Never skips a day. He goes at least twice a day: once in the morning, once in the night, before going to sleep.

He is my clockwork dad!

Tuesday, 28 April 2020 | 07:01 AM

And the stink is still here

Tuesday, 28 April 2020 | 06:61 AM

Insomnia + chilli bean burritos the day before = whatever’s happening right now in my toilet under my bum.

A catastrophe.

Monday, 27 April 2020 | 11:18 AM

When I was just a little boy I used to have fun thinking about people I knew (mostly friends) taking a poo.

I mean, I really tried my best to picture them sitting on their toilet, veins swollen on their forehead, red-faced. That was fun. Somehow.

Sunday, 26 April 2020 | 07:35 PM

This quarantine is making me tripping

Sunday, 26 April 2020 | 12:00 PM

Shit! It’s noon!

And the crap just detached form my butt.

Everything looks normal. Though is it?

I don’t trust this toilet telling me ‘everything’s normal’

Saturday, 25 April 2020 | 09:00 AM

Every time I poop at time-o’clock something weird happen.

This time as soon as I expelled my crap I got transferred into a parallel universe in which this big shy tird sat on its toilet is extruding an human figure out of his crappy arsehole. That human is me!

Well, he has the same facial features at least.

But.. I am actually seeing this scene. Wait a minute! I TURNED INTO A POO!

Friday, 24 April 2020 | 05:15 PM

As Julian Casablancas would say

‘I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say…’