As always happens, 2nd of January I end up drinking more than at new year’s eve, for one of my friend’s birthday. It’s a peculiar celebration, he creates some sort of olympic games with its 20/30 friends, and we play homemade sports, drinking and smoking and having a lot of fun.

Problem is, my routine fucks up, my bowels get to process just junk food and alcohol, and I end up constipated but in urge. Oximoronic, but true.

Luckily I have my squatty potty, where I stand, squatting on the toilet.

I’ve been using it for some years now, and I’ve learned that the best way my bowels receipt its perks is mimicking our ancestral way of pooping. Precisely.

That is to say, sitting idling on the toilet is not the best way.

Adding it squatty potty to lift our legs is a little better.

But Squatting arse-mid-air on squatty potty is top of the league. It looks a little sketchy, and it engages our body muscles a lot – which especially in the morning it’s harsh – but it works great!

And my day gets to get amazing!

Another poop moment

Hasty, uneasy, bad

Ouch! Painful session.

It’s very difficult to concentrate on writing. TBH I kinda was expecting this painful shit since the first constipated day a week ago. Now it looks like it’s time!

Yesterday I prepared Pad Thai with my girlfriend. I chose not to make it too spicy. Everything was mixed very well. We made an excellent job. I even digested it fairly. IDK. I don’t know what happened.

I’ll just stop asking myself why. It just happened.

Right.

Let’s hope I survive

Woah, two huge turds!

Mh, something in the end got out….

Not much.

But at least my year started with a little shy tird!

So the new year began uh?

And I’m starting it with constipation?

Mh.

Too bad.

Too bad….

Could be because of oversleeping… but no shit this morning 🙁

Finally. FINALLY!

Some sort of mild-diarrhoea gets my bowel loose.

Is constipation over?

Great! Just happens it was indeed a cork this morning. More shit coming right now

This morning I pooped a cork.

Or at least it looks like it.. and it kinda worked like one.

Hopingly constipation ends today!

Will it though? :/

Oh great… I thought comstipation was finished…

IT IS NOT 🙁

I think I got 2/3 kilos of just poop inside me

Something I haven’t share about these constipated days

In the last few months I discovered some sort of technique to stimulate pooping.

It is a necessity, you know.

It began washing my arsehole, out of the blue I remembered a suggestion my ex gave me, washing my arsehole with soap, and occasionally linger on it a bit inside. This would have stimulate peristaltic movements, allegedly.

You know what… I tried occasionally, excluded soap from the equation – it just irritated the colon – and it worked!

It works!

Sometimes at least.

This time at least!

Eventually I deployed some 3-days-old shit, now I just miss the backlogged…

I collect Another day of constipation.

My stomach is starting to hurt now, yet, no stimula

No shit

Again

Again

Againagain

Again n again

FUCK I FEEL BAAddddd

Well, I just can’t shit. This is starting worrying me tbh.

I’d need some sort of purgative :/