I know I am talking a lot about that video where I take a shit on the floor, but since I uploaded it online my mindset shifted.

I feel like a performance artist now! Will I ever be recognised by one? Dunno.

In the meanwhile, my arsehole is very busy at the moment. Now that I want to take videos of my turds being flushed down I can’t even wipe myself properly.

After that video I posted everything changed in my mind. Am I becoming something else?

Yesterday I could hardly fall asleep, my mind kept producing titles such as ‘I shit in a Jar’, or ‘I shit on the table’, perhaps ‘I shit in front of the Parliament’. I could even sell that damn Jar as a piece of art – it’d be an even tribute to my master!

I keep thinking about this, I believe it’s at least something worth trying…

Yes, I think I’ll start footage these huge turds I’ve just arse-crafted and post it on TikTok

Even if I just single-turd-pooped, I am so proud. I spent the whole day publishing the video of me pooping on the floor and trying to make it viral. It is difficult tho’

When I am lost in creativity I look down at my tirds.

1) do they float?

Yes

2) what shape so they form?

It’s sort of a ‘Y’. Very curly though

3) colour?

Dark brown

I know it’s not about crap, but it’s somehow related.

I’ve been urging to have a pee for I can’t even tell how long.

It’s painful, you know…

Now that I am having it I decided to take the time.

It’s been exactly 2mins 27seconds with no pause.

Much better. Here’s what I needed: a hamburger and some chips and cheese.

Obviously delivered. Frozen up. Bad.

What am I writing?

Nothing worth telling about

If I’ll ever get pregnant I’d experience the difference between giving birth to a child, and extruding tirds. If there are any…

If a tird is too large, my anus stretches.

There are some times I am constipated, That I have to actively intervene with my hands.

I literally pull the turd out of my arse, and I waste it down the toilet.

Feels like using a very special anal plug.

My anus prickles.

Dear fans,

my tird resembles a Salami!

I know I’m not that original every single time I write a post, though running this blog is my passion. I am passionate about something. I care.

Do you? I am talking to those few people I see caring about my crap – I mean, literally!

You really care about this? I love you. I’ve always hoped for some sort-of-fans, and now someone really exists!

Guys, share me, talk about my madness with people. Spread my disease. Let’s beat covid with my crap!

I mean, thank you, supporters! Thank you so much! If I’d ever reach more people it’ll be mostly because of you. You will be rewarded. I will be sending you something. At the moment I made just some stickers. In the future who knows? T-shirt probably. Maybe books…

Guys, I love you.

Sincerely, The Shy Tird

Still trying to get if it’s a tird or just a fart.

Turd count: 7 pieces

Reek: 7/10

Stickiness: 7.5/10

Avg. rating: 6/10