Saturday, 16 November 2024 | 7:46 AM

Idk, is my arse fooling me around?

I’ve has so many bad farts yesterday! Even during dinner I kept farting and they were worst and worst.

I was expecting a ridiculous amount of poop this morning, but instead, just a couple of action figures.

Sort of disappointing, but I feel like I should write some plot now…

Thursday, 14 November 2024 | 7:19 AM

Got an early meeting this morning, so I am on a rush, I also woke up earlier than usual to cope with time..

All of these things together gives me stress, hence constipation.

Yeah, do you know what I also am in need of the most? TAKING A SHIT.

Fuck. My day is ruined!

Drama queen shit-king

Monday, 11 November 2024

Alright, here’s the setup from yesterday:

• I haven’t taken a shit for the whole day.

• For lunch, we prepared some spicy Chinese noodles. You know, my girlfriend and I enjoy trying out cooking different things.

• For dinner, we made Indian butter chicken and naan bread.

While my girlfriend, who’s lactose intolerant, was up a thousand times during the night running to the bathroom, I didn’t feel anything all night. But just five minutes ago, while I was doing the dishes, I felt this epic urge hit me.

I forced myself to finish my chore as quickly as possible, but my anus was calling, rumbling, and pulsing, so I finally gave in and ran to the bathroom. And here I am now, in the acidic fumes of the upside-down volcano that is my butt.

Saturday, 9 November 2024 | 7:23 AM

Soft.

Soft turds resembling my kitten’s frequent diarrhoeas. I wonder what keeps him having inside him, his belly is still swollen…

My bowels feel better now btw, having two beers on a Friday night always ends up like this on Saturday mornings

Friday, 8 November 2024 | 8:11 AM

I’ve been sitting on my toilet for more than forty minutes. Took me a lot of blank pushes to actually produce some tirds.

They’re not even that bad. They look pretty normal to me… so I guess what took them so long… if only I could ask ’em!

Tuesday, 5 November 2024 | 8:04 AM

Only few turds…I wonder how much it is…

I can’t help imagining a future – should already be at present – where we have bowels habits next to sleep, fitness, hearth rate, etc in out Health apps… there should be smart toilets weighting our poop amounts, analysing their quality and their smell…

Yeah, sure we can all somehow benefit from that, but I guess no one really need it

Friday, 1 November 2024 | 9:41 AM

Long turd.

Yesterday I gave a party and my first worry was not to be able to shit in the morning. You know alcohol constipation. Instead, something came…

Thing now is I slept just 4 hours, awakened by my kitten biting my arm.

Woke up, went sitting on the sofa not to bother my gf and let her sleep… my bowels made a fart, and my kitten Fart startled.

It was pretty funny

Tuesday, 29 October 2024 | 7:51 AM

Seemed impossible at first, but I patiently waited for it to happen, and now I can proudly admire the swoosh-shaped turd my arse has just crafted!

Felt constipated initially, then I freed myself!

Just do it!

Saturday, 26 October 2024 | 01:33 AM

My girlfriend is out, my dad too, so I’ve just arrived at my mom’s to have lunch with her..

I’ve arrived less than 3 minutes ago and I’m already sitting on the toilet, taking a shit…

Uhh… how lovely… vibes from my childhood..