So, I’m still sitting here. My stomach hurts. My bowels is still, almost quiet— apart from some hilarious very high-pitched farts.

I’d rather be asleep, but I can’t. First I MUST get rid of the stupid crap hidden inside me, It’s devouring me from the inside.

All right. Here I am again. Sitting on my toilet in the middle of the night. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a honour.

Long story short, I celebrated my girlfriend’s birthday in a park with a couple of her friends. We finished our beers, so I rapidly went buying some new fresh ones. I had to go to three different markets to fill my backpack.

I rode back to our spot in the park, we finished all our beers. I wasn’t drunk. I can’t be drunk drinking beer. I shouldn’t. My bowels cannot handle it. I shouldn’t had. I did.

When I went to sleep I felt like my stomach could Potentially hurt. This means it was pretty much freezed in a full-capacity condition. Full-of-beer.

A hasty reprise

Makes the toilet pride

Nice. My anus has cramps, it’s vibrating like an electric rasor…

…and the crap looks like minced meat

Enormous.

I’ve been playing with some clay for a few hours now…

Now that some smooth crap exits through my hole, the first instinct was to take it for modeling.

Just a few minutes after, here comes the concrete.

Even If I’ve been awake for like three hours already, my butt seems to be still dreaming.

Only farts today. Farts, abstract ideas of a brownish nuance.

Studying is something I forgot how to do. I feel like my student time has gone for good.

Now I need to concentrate on more solid stuff, like this TURD. Rock-solid.

Not that much of a smell. Indeed I shall study my crap, in order to found a new discipline: shitology.

New day, new shit product of my belly!

Such a profitable export company I could put on…💭

My day began in the best way. Nice slumber, dreamful, great mood for me! I had breakfast, I laid on the sofa for one hour, studying Portuguese on Duolingo, and then I went to the bathroom.

As soon as I entered the room, the pain was calling me. I nearly had no time to undress, then I sat.

Here I still am, stationary, trying not to augment my abdominal pain, while unloading from loads and loads of crap.

At first, the longest snake got out, seamlessly followed by whacked light-brown pieces.

After eight agitated minutes, I could finish. Relieved. Wiping my arse for another two-minute-long period.

Ok. okokokokok.

I think this solves everything.

Eating as much fruit as one can makes your crap very smooth. No retention. No constipation. No tension.

GREAT!!

A few smoothies

Everybody knows that an apple a day leaves the doctor away.

The reason is simple. As long as you keep eating fruits, you won’t coo your bowels. I

I forgot to eat any fruit for a week, now I am constipated… 😣

I guess anxiety before a job interview plus loads of different cheese types for lunch is making this session worth laughing.

Short an fast.