Done!

Last week, I achieved my week-day sobriety, balanced by some beers both on Saturday and Sunday.

Nice. I feel more powerful now.

Or at least will once I deployed all the rubbish still inside me.

Yesterday I randomised my nutrition.

Normal breakfast (guaranteed), then I ate two carrots and an apple from 10AM to 5PM

At 5PM I started feeling a bit hungry, so I ate a red steak. 3 beers after that, and some pizza for dinner (9PM).

My arse doesn’t understand what happened. Indeed it just 2-minute farts, and 1-kg turd, and repeat.

Yesterday I had to skip dinner. I bough some roasted potatoes on my launch brake and I finished processing ‘em at 11:00PM.

Now everything tat went in, must come out!

But it’s a massacre.

Not an international phenomenon yet. Yet, I consider myself The shitfluencer.

And the funny thing is my shit is nothing different from the others’

Almost forgetting to have a writing here!

I started a new job this week. Until I set myself up, I won’t have regular shits, I tend to forget to write about them, I am sleeping a lot.

Btw, the one lying at the bottom of my toilet cannot be defined as a tird. It has no shape, it sticked on my arse’s skin, it’s pale brown.

At least my belly doesn’t hurt! …wait a minute…😖

I was just having a little pee and a huge turd got out!🤯

First of all, I need breakfast, then I need it to sediment inside me.

After up to twenty minutes I am ready to expel.

Here I am consecrate this new day with a resounding shat!

I love singing on my toilet.

While I am shitting.

While I’m on an online meeting.

While I’m writing this post.

Yesterday I cooked myself some Basmati rice with tomato and courgette. My shit this morning has no scent at all.

Unexpected eruption.

The beginning of a new job means, I had no time to have a shit today. It doesn’t fit in my routine! I don’t have a new routine yet.

Indeed, I just had the time to make some turds only now. It’s dry

Brblbrblrblrblbbrbr, is the sound my arsehole makes today.

This morning I went biking for miles and miles. Once home I decided I needed proteins. Beans seemed a nice Idea.

I farted all day long.

I am going to bed, but I can barely cover my body with the bedsheet. My stomach grew 1000 times bigger than my entire body.

This was just shit.

Pretty long session though. I spent one hour sitting on my toilet.

Now my bottom is made of china