My arse, a sprinkler.

I fell asleep one hour ago, then suddenly a urge woke me up. That’s a proper wake up call.

I sit on the toilet. I expel some turds, i feel evil inside me. It hurts. Some more turds. It feels like the evil is getting lower and lower, until.

BOOOOOM. A burst of shit from my arse. It’s total liquid. My arse is now a shit-sprinkler.

After a thirty-minute experience, I am back in bed, not feeling entirely right. I simply hope not to remember anything about this tomorrow

I’ve just proclaimed myself, King of my own reign, The Shyt Kingdom. by now I just feel lonely, all alone on my stained white throne.

While some little turds bounces off my arse, I will keep waiting for foresters to join my palace. It’s such a crappy place!

In the meanwhile I must study a way to promote my reign. Discord is fun, when in company.

‘Happiness is only real when shared‘, after all

Trying to figure out how to sleep, can’t. the excitement of my new discord is over the top

I created my discord, looking forward for meeting people inside it.

Just a little rapid shit, two tirds to be accurate. Two little littly shitty turds.

Kebab for lunch has been a very nice idea!

Farts while working is what I’ve really been missing 🙃

Time passes by and my shit keeps getting out, this means I am well. Not so cool tirds today btw

Been shitting for forty minutes now, I hope I’m empty. I guess I got caught in my phone…

My arse still hurts.

Let me just tell you the whole story, I went climbing early in the morning. I though I liberated myself from all the crap inside me in the morning, but I was wrong. As soon as I approached my first route I felt the burden inside me, idling, waiting for me to expel it.

My outdooring went on until the sun set, then I headed back to the city centre where I’m going to meet a friend. During the return trip I programmed to take a shit at the bar I am meeting her, then the urge became more urgent. I simply neeeeeeded a shit.

I park in an isolated, unlit, place. I take the cleaning paper I prudently store in my car, I run to the perfect spot. My back on a tree. I push my pants down. Abruptly, everything gets out immediately, no struggle needed. In the moment I even pee on my trousers. I wipe my arse. My hands clumsily catch some dirt. No prob, I clean my fingers with another spare tissue.

Well. Now I can meet my friend. Stinky, dusty, shitty. Empty.

Shit drops as soon as my cheeks touch the marble.

This. Is. Satisfying. It. Really. Is. This. Is. What. I. Call. Life.

Blurpeedeboop, from my arsytopblop

Turdyleedoo, sheettyhoop!

Been farting chestnuts all evening long

Juicy fluid incapsulated my turds, which have been sprouted by my arse at bullet speed. Now my toilet is dead.

Finally able to have a shit. But I don’t give a shit.

I shall research on a method to fossilise my shit. 🧐 so I can actually GIVE somebody a shit.

Time passes by, I don’t get the attention I deserve, and my arse is cross about it. Today no shit. 😡
Seriously, I’ve been writing a post every time I took a shit now! GET ME FAMOUS!