I am late, but my arse isn’t finished yet.

And I simply can’t leave home without being sure having it all left behind. Otherwise I’m going to explode, like Atomic Bomb

Now that even my arsehole is aware of the awakening of my body, it’s getting a move on, and exploiting itself.

My arsehole burns

I basically spent three days drinking and not resting, I had guests, and I had to show them around, every bar was a tequila shot. I spent these days having troubles at my best activity ever. I couldn’t properly shit. So my body just woken me up at 6 AM because I couldn’t properly sleep with all of this rubbles inside me. It is a dull post and I know it, the fact is I feel drowsy and confused, and dazed by this fucking smell at the same time.

I’m not sure whether I am awake already or still sleeping, I only know I now have a tail.

I am back to the toilet. My girlfriend refers to me as a Shit machine.

Can’t blame her

Btw, my crap appears smooth and compact, it is made of a group of three or four turds which togeth-WAIT A MINUTE! Right while writing about the key consistency factor of my poop, my arsehole produced something of a new kind, it is a shape-shifter crap with a peculiar sense of mating. It rushes out as single very-fluidy spruts, and they pile on top of one another finding their way outside.

In the end there’s a very funny lump of crap amassed at the bottom of my toilet. Gotta say I am extremely proud of my products today!

There’s something mystical in my habits. I went to sleep at 3AM, after some random drinking. I am awake at 6 AM because of my shit habit. I gotta shit every day right before my morning run. Nice. A clockwork crapper.

Doesn’t matter if my mind is blurred for the rest of the day my days…

It is loose crap. I’d pretty much like to be asleep but I am instead sitting on the toilet. And my arse is stinky

Feels like my body is fucking with me…

I was putting my pants on to go out for a jog, I had just taken some friendly shit.I

was ready… when suddenly one of the most recognisable fart went through down there, it was a solid one.

I had to rush back to the toilet, where I’m at the moment of writing. Everything I’m typing on my phone right now is paired with a great background of my stained underpants.

I mean, elbows on my knees, fingers on my screen, eyes on my undies, staring at that microscopical piece of shit now stuck on the fabric. Nice souvenir for my morning run!

Now some creamy crap. Even the sound of this word is cool. It’s not hard, it’s not shapeless, it’s just like chocolate mousse extruded from some pastry bag.

Btw, the fact I take some shit before my morning run, and some other right after it’s something I’m beginning to fancy…

Early turd.

Went jogging, then came back right where I belong. Some more shit was waiting for me. The real crap!

At the same time I can’t help burping yesterday’s dinner. I shall get back to my healthy habits…

Being awakened by wild shit.

Everything’s sounds normal if you picture myself eating too much for four days in a row.

It may sound even more normal if you think I don’t usually eat much during my usual life.

Less slumber means less quality post, meaning also less energy to make proper shits

Something terrible is taking place inside me. I wish this war could ger out of my body, I wish it was inside the toilet. While writing words keep blur and overlay, I had a sever insomniac attack last night because of the active battlefield inside me. It was just in the stomach at the beginning, now it is in the intestines, it is lasting longer than anyone would want.

Long turd, short time. My eyelids are heavy as hell, I’d just need to sleep, but instead I am sitting here waiting for my body to download data. Heavy data.