It’s not easy to describe what’s up with my anus this morning. Tu put it simply: spiciness.

I had a spicy dinner, and now my hole is fully fired. Idk, I probably like this kind of feeling. I can’t be sure she will enjoy being the room as soon as my girlfriend wakes up…

This stuff lean in the air! It’s fucking pollution!

Reprisal

My night was harsh. Couldn’t get why, mostly anxiety I guess.

NOPE, it was because of those fried pastry-filled-mozzarella-thinghyies I had for lunch. As soon as I woke up I created a little pile of shit. It’s more like a miniature Mountain.

Trust me, it’s like when you use a shovel and you move fresh soil into s new pile. Exactly the same.N

ow, about my health…. still questioning

It’s three thirty in the morning, I can’t sleep, but I can soundly fart. I go have some proper ones in the bathroom.

All righty, it actually happened what I felt was going to. It’s happening pretty often, to be fair. And I am glad it happened.

Simply, I was about to get out for my morning jog, when the shit I felt was still inside me knock-knocked. Who’s there?

‘WHROOOOM’! That was immediate!

Today I am having troubles pooping. I mean, it’s not constipation, but I feel like there’s something left inside after each push.

Well, guess it’s something normal…

Maybe it’s caused by the fact I had some nightmares not long ago, or maybe is because I am very sad this morning. Or maybe, maybe it’s just random. Let me wipe this thing off and get the day started…

A Softy

Live from the white throne. I’ve just had breakfast and I was headed to the shower, the toilet was in between, so I decided to take some advantage of it.

I achieved almost nothing. I’ve just stained the slope with the littlest turd ever. POINTLESS.

The beginning of the day means deflating, i.e. MANY FAAARTS. And a huge piece of crap after me, i.e. A BIG TURD.

That doesn’t make me awake, though

I have a freaking serious gas problem. I’m constantly bloating. I am serious. My bowels are highly problematic. And flammable I believe…

So now, I’d pretty much like to sleep, BUT, this internal air I’ve got stored within me is very discomfortable. It stresses me out!

Ok ok… GOTTA RELAAAAX.

A little silent fart while working right next to my colleague. He hasn’t noticed anything! :3

I am taking polka dot shit. Yes this is what I’ve just made, a polka dot poop.

It is brown and has loads of black freckles in it, they seem like small gems mounted on it in a pretty precise way.

Now I am trying to gather my thoughts and remember what did I eat that could have caused it… but I simply can’t recall. Well let’s just imagine My arse became a painter!

So in the morning, what was anticipated by some gas, now becomes toxic waste.

The pool’s water is split in two, at the bottom there’s solid dregs, on the surface there’s the oily floating liquid. Which one’s more worth?

To be on the safe side, I’ll just flush everything away. I am just worried for the planet though…

It’s almost four o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep. That hamburger I had for dinner really needed some more cooking. Stomach issues.

On the other side (literally) my intestines kept producing farts. Farts I had to expel as soon as dully developed. My bowels give me insomnia 😡

I am deeply sad for the loss.

And pretty impressed.

The huge shit flushed off almost instantly, with a little help from the brush, I’ve seen my son die in half past a second :((