the Shy Tird

Sunday, 9 February 2020 | 09:26 AM

I am still sitting here. I think my friend is now fully awake, I can heard him listening to some music on the phone.

Sorry mate. I’m still here, I still got shit thrusting out from my arse. Can’t help it! X

Sunday, 9 February 2020 | 09:16 AM

When I’m stilly drowsy in the morning and I’m shitting, sometimes, sometimes it feels like I’m still dreaming.

It’s a kind of ethereal sensation… not even bad.

Then, suddenly, my nose receptors wake up.

Saturday, 8 February 2020 | 11:15 PM

When I’m on vacation I just eat too much stuff.

Fuck me!

I even shit too much!

Saturday, 8 February 2020 | 02:14 PM

Cool! A new hotel room! Let’s inaugurate it!

In the meanwhile I’m playing with the best smart-game I’ve ever downloaded. It’s called Elevate. It’s fantastique! You improve your mental skills with no effort.

Saturday, 8 February 2020 | 11:23 AM

I love international Breakfast. You basically cover your nutritional requirement for the day in just one meal. Eating every-thing at the buffet.

And now, second part: dumping all out

Saturday, 8 February 2020 | 03:31 AM

Sheeet I haven’t shat all day long!

I can finally free myself now!

I feel unloaded.

All right the secret is I’m in Belgium for the weekend, I became a shy pooper whilst on a trip. Yet, I’m so comfortable in my hotel room’s toilet. It’s so warm and cozy.

Thursday, 6 February 2020 | 06:23 PM

Yet again another bomb.

I may consider the idea of renaming ‘Thursday’ with ‘Tirday’

Thursday, 6 February 2020 | 5:59 PM

Amazing. I shat only now. I’m a wreck. I can’t help it 😦

Thursday, 6 February 2020 | 03:14 PM

I simply can’t accept it. I stopped eating pasta, bread, pizza and all flour-related products. Why WHY do I keep having this fart problems all along my life?

PLEASE! WHY?!

The worst of all is air doesn’t even get out!

It just collects inside doing funny noises just to tease me!

Wednesday, 5 February 2020 | 09:44 PM

Woooow I am amazed.

I’m about to get out and I just extruded a looooong tird!

I’m surprised.

Wednesday, 5 February 2020 | 06:10 PM

Sometimes (like this one) I just reckon this blog’s crap.

Tuesday, 4 February 2020 | 01:53 PM

It’s so windy today, it’s hard to move around.

It was indeed difficult smoking a cigarette. I don’t even know why I wanted to, I’m not even a smoker! I felt disgusted, now I smell of that stupid thing!

Luckily it‘s been fruitful: I’m now pooping in peace, wind whistling all around, yet I’m protected, sat in that sacred space within four walls. In a toilet.

Sunday, 2 February 2020 | 10:43 PM

So far, not good.

I don’t get it, where is my body taking this shit from? Where was it stored?

Biology is such a mystery.

Sunday, 2 February 2020 | 06:46 PM

Diarrhoea today!

Sunday, 2 February 2020 | 05:37 PM

I can’t understand why do I need to shit this much today, I just ate broccoli!

I mean, ok, I was on a rush earlier today, I had no time to make it all! I was skyping with my girlfriend and I had got to be fast… Still… That’s a big amount of crap!

Sunday, 2 February 2020 | 01:15 PM

That was flash!

Saturday, 1 February 2020 | 09:14 PM

Another pop.

Today just disappointing points

Saturday, 1 February 2020 | 02:51 PM

Insignificant

Saturday, 1 February 2020 | 11:28 AM

Another month just passed by and I haven’t skipped a day from alcohol. It’s funny though, my shit has never felt better.

Friday, 31 January 2020 | 07:38 PM

Such an awesome time! I just wrote something in Chinese ideograms with my feces. I can’t write nor understand any word in Chinese though- I just hope it’s a swear word.

Friday, 31 January 2020 | 06:13 PM

My usual shat before going running.

I was waiting for that the whole day! Fuck, just stupid farts!

Friday, 31 January 2020 | 07:35 AM

Love it when it naturally descends laying on the bed of the pond.

Thursday, 30 January 2020 | 04:45 PM

A new eating place recently opened in my town. They make chinese specialties.

It’s been two months now I’m looking forward to eating there.
Well thinking about China situation nowadays, I reckon haven’t picked the right moment for eating there.

Now I’m locked in the bathroom, hoping that ramen won’t give me much more trouble apart from this shit.

Thursday, 30 January 2020 | 08:30 AM

I’m sitting here and I wonder if taking a poop depends on experience or it’s just instinct.

I mean are elder people more expert in taking a shit as they are more expert in life, having lived life longer than youngsters?

My arse is still a bit sleepy so I’m constipated. Even though I’m weighted by nutrients from yesterday – and I feel it – they all can’t get out.

Would an older version of me, a future-shy-tird, be able to make it anyway? Will I be so saturated with experience in order to do some tricks and shit anyways?

Wednesday, 29 January 2020 | 11:07 AM

There has been an unexpected expulsion of fecal matter.

Wednesday, 29 January 2020 | 10:10 AM

Today’s product is worth taking about.

It’s odd. Normal color. It felt like a golf ball outrushing from the hole, but now that I can see it, it is just a few small pieces.

Tuesday, 28 January 2020 | 09:08 PM

Another one for the not important shats

Tuesday, 28 January 2020 | 09:29 AM

Fun Fact.

We as human species are animals. In details we are a singularly evoluted mammal called Homo Sapiens. Cool ah?
Most of the scientists agree on the fact we descend from monkeys, everybody knows that!
To be more precise we descend from the same ancient animal species – which is now extinct – monkeys and apes descend from.

We are very similar! Even if one’s not a scientist can tell that. They walk on two legs, they live in communities, they have sex the very same way we do it – even between two individuals of the same gender, see bonobos -, they take a shit every once in a while.

Right. Awesome!
How come then we’re the only animal sitting on a toilet?
This makes me feel stupid.

Monday, 27 January 2020 | 06:44 PM

Very fast reprise.

Monday, 27 January 2020 | 06:36 PM

I’ll go running in a minute. It is vital to get rid of the burden.

Now I can sprint.