the Shy Tird

Monday, 18 May 2020 | 09:56 AM

Blobs sprouting from my – let’s make it SFW – hole.

I don’t have a garden

Sunday 17 May 2020 | 05:15 PM

This shit’s not even worth talking about

Sunday, 17 May 2020 | 11:43 AM

Nooooo, that’s so sticky!

Saturday, 16 May 2020 | 11:51 PM

After some ice cream and some board game with the family, I got angry, the milky ice cream kicked in.

AND I SHAT ON THE BOARD!

I WIIIN!

Saturday, 16 May 2020 | 04:15 PM

Floating in mid-air still hanging from my arse…

Below it the green-ish smelly pond…

That’s the shit of the jungle!

Friday, 15 May 2020 | 02:31 PM

Scorching arse means firing comets.

Friday, 15 May 2020 | 10:23 AM

A pointy tird has just stang me.

It was venomous.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 05:33 PM

Fly high my little fella.

I just thrusted the long crap just extruded from my window.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 02:56 PM

That one is nice and quiet.

It’s like my arse has a silencer.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 11:28 AM

I reckon it’s time for me to start back reporting about my poop sessions.

Yesterday I had a poke bowl for lunch, avocado in it was unripe, too watery, raw fish wasn’t that fresh I believe. I had no dinner whatsoever.

Now I am having a pretty conventional shitty shitty. It doesn’t float. Does not smell bad.

So what?

Wednesday, 13 May 2020 | 11:06 AM

This shitty blog is getting out of my hands.

I keep pooping and pooping, and slowly I feel my arse gaining power on myself.

I’m not the same person anymore…

Tuesday, 12 May 2020 | 11:55 AM

My arse has just queefed, which is weird, cause ain’t no vagina.

Stuff rumbled out in the meanwhile. Dirty smooth meatballs

Monday, 11 May 2020 | 03:29 PM

How many tirds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Free answer

Monday, 11 May 2020 | 01:34 AM

Fuck it! Too many farts, I should have known it would have happened this

Sunday, 10 May 2020 | 11:17 AM

I should start classifying my tirds.

Should I do it by date, stink or dimension?

Maybe even color 🤔

Saturday, 9 May 2020 | 12:15 PM

My deepest dream above all is to have a shit on the moon.

Friday, 8 May 2020 | 04:26 PM

Ice cream makes me feel weird. Only one hour after eating some chocolate ice cream, I just reproduced it neatly within my toilet.

Friday, 8 May 2020 | 09:58 AM

Singing ‘la la la la’

Tuney shit

Thursday, 7 May 2020 | 04:39 PM

My shit entered Phase 2: it now walks.

Wednesday, 6 May 2020 | 11:11 AM

I imagine a future where the shy tird becomes a big international enterprise and I will have all the meeting through web chats directly from my toilet 💭

Tuesday, 5 May 2020 | 10:21 AM

Consistency. That’s a necessity of this lifetime work

Monday, 4 May 2020 | 11:11 AM

I reckon I’ve never posted at 11:11.

How odd! Those numbers really look like these 4 tirds I just arse-crafted.

One-shaped tirds!

On fire.

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 04:41 PM

I could shit so many times in a day! I feel so blessed! 🤩

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 02:06 PM

I could definitely fall asleep in here, sitting on this white china, with a tird hanging from my butthole.

Friday, 1 May 2020 | 08:05 AM

Anyone wants a smoothie?

Thursday, 30 April 2020 | 02:48 PM

Wonderful day for a second shat!

I am starting wondering: what will it be of this blog adventure once summer comes and I’ll shit in the water? I can’t take my phone with me!

Thursday, 30 April 2020 | 11:04 AM

Today’s a very special day. It is my dad’s birthday!

You know, everything I learned sitting here I learned from him. He is the real Shit Master!

Not joking. Never skips a day. He goes at least twice a day: once in the morning, once in the night, before going to sleep.

He is my clockwork dad!

Tuesday, 28 April 2020 | 07:01 AM

And the stink is still here

Tuesday, 28 April 2020 | 06:61 AM

Insomnia + chilli bean burritos the day before = whatever’s happening right now in my toilet under my bum.

A catastrophe.