last   poops

Sunday, 26 February 2023 | 09:14 AM

Yesterday I kind of spent the day eating. No rest, no shit.

This means only one thing. I have dinosaurs of poop piled up inside me. Ages of evolutions, centuries of debris. Frankly, I hope my toilet is ready. Brace yourselves!

Saturday, 25 February 2023 | 09:04 AM

As soon as I open my eyes, my bowels wish me good morning, in a very peculiar way. They use morse code, fart morse code.

They say ‘Good Morning my lord, after this little chit chat, we really need to spend some time with you on the toilet’

After that I had breakfast, ignoring their needs.

Now I am in the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, set everything for the shower, but in the meanwhile my bowels were expressing their disappointment, in a way I can’t tell.

In the end I pleased them, and I sat on the throne.

Now we are finally happy together

Tuesday, 21 February 2023 | 11:14 PM

Having a shit at this time of the day is not easy at all. It is indeed hard. Yeah, hard. Hard turds piled senseless one on top of the other, with fart gaps in between them. They are difficult to be deployed. But I am trying anyways, I am trying to relieve my slumber!

Monday, 20 February 2023 | 08:25 AM

Yesterday, I ate a lot both for lunch and for dinner. My body should have spent the night transforming it into something useful for the planet, now I am waiting for it to be expelled.

But I guess I should have breakfast first…