the Shy Tird

Tuesday, 30 June 2020 | 10:41 AM

I’ve spent the whole night -not sleeping, but – slow-cooking. The temperature in my room doesn’t go below 30ºC and the shit inside my is now dry as a desert.

Monday, 29 June 2020 | 12:44 AM

The heat I am experiencing is overwhelming. I can’t live. It is so hot the tirds I dropped just squeezed gently out of my anus, perfectly sweat-lubricated

Sunday, 28 June 2020 | 08:36 AM

Portrait of my arse in the morning: 🙈

Saturday, 27 June 2020 | 01:31 PM

If I only had the money I’d create an industry out of my shit.

Saturday, 27 June 2020 | 12:06 AM

After a long day spent grilling chilling eating and drinking. I need my spliff.

Most of all I need a shit.

That’s it. My shit.

Shit.

My shit.

Friday, 26 June 2020 | 01:00 PM

It’s one o’clock….. SHIT.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIIIIIIIT.

I’ve been transferred again. Popped out of my toilet. Pooped in inside a planet made of monkeys. Not normal monkeys. White monkeys, browned by crap they keep trowing at each other.

Friday, 26 June 2020 | 11:05 AM

I am having a shit guys!

Always a news

Thursday, 25 June 2020 | 01:50 PM

No rush uh? What just popped out of my arse is HUGE. A SOULSTONE OF CRAP.

I am mortal again

Tuesday, 23 June 2020 | 11:33 PM

For crying out loud! Amid the darkness crap just dropped from my arse.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020 | 11:20 PM

Normally I can’t help talking about my shit.

Imma talk about my shits for once.

I am fucking overwhelmed. I can’t sleep, every time I eat something more than a handful of rice I feel like I binged. I need a time out from my life. I can’t sleep, haven’t I said it already?

I’m on the edge of a burn out.

The only moment of my life that still matters is when I relieve myself.

I’ll go sitting on my toilet, and cry.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020 | 07:45 PM

Shit before dinner, just to enjoy ramen better.

Tuesday, 23 June 2020 | 08:14 AM

No wine means no fun in the morning.

This spiky stuff hurts me though

Monday, 22 June 2020 | 04:10 PM

Like it like it poopit

Monday, 22 June 2020 | 9:07 AM

Last Saturday night I revealed I run this blog to my friends. Some said “You’re a psycho”, some others “You’re a genius!”.

Then one of my mate’s girlfriend told me about this sort-of joke:

Do you know the difference between an art installation and an art performance?
-No
Well, If you ring at someone’s doorbell and take a shit in front of him, that’s a performance.
If you take a shit in front of someone’s door, then, only after it, you ring the bell and run, that’s an installation.

I believe that’s brilliant!

Sunday, 21 June 2020 | 12:27 PM

In a urge to the toilet there’s no winner but the purge.

Saturday, 20 June 2020 | 11:53 AM

Saturday starts hangover.

I ended up drinking litres of red wine, which had meant waking myself up in the middle of the night to have a shit. Now another, then there will be a follow up.

I need to eat though

Friday, 19 June 2020 | 11:48 AM

Would it be possible to use crap as clay?

I mean would it become China if cooked?

Thursday, 18 June 2020 | 03:08 PM

I’ve had the best italian pasta for lunch: tagliatelle with ricotta, gorgonzola and walnuts. That was amazingly delicious!

Still… the infinite quantity of lactose in it is having its withdrawal in this very moment.

My shit just happens to be as creamy as the delectable pasta I had two hours ago.

Wednesday, 17 June 2020 | 11:54 AM

I think that drinking some food colorant would be something worth trying.

Just to see my shit turn blue

Tuesday, 16 June 2020 | 08:20 PM

The kebab I had for lunch was tastier than I remembered. Long time passed since I had one. Long time since my shit smelled Thyme.

Tuesday, 16 June 2020 | 01:11 PM

Conical tirds are very insidious:

First it stings your arse with its pointy spike, then it enlarges, it grows and grows pushing the very limit of your skin. Then it releases, creating void inside you, propelling that bullet-shaped crap into the splash, which eventually soak both your cheeks.

Monday, 15 June 2020 | 01:37 PM

I think I’ll make a doll out of my poop.

I just shat a narrow piece. It’ll be the nose.

Monday, 15 June 2020 | 10:10 AM

Strange days for me, for my belly.

I feel alone.

But I think I found a solution…

Saturday, 13 June 2020 | 03:45 PM

Since I had no shit in two days it looks like my body developed a unique piece of matter denser than any other element on planet earth.

Something like a tennis ball weighting like an elephant.

Saturday, 14 June 2020 | 01:04 AM

I’ve just had a terrible epiphany: I had no shit today.

Thursday, 11 June 2020 | 10:53 AM

One beer, ok.

Two beers, ok.

Three beers, ok.

N beers, ok.

The aftermath, not much ok. My toilet is bloated with shit smell, everywhere a thin layer of invisible mud covers every piece of bathroom furniture.

Wednesday, 10 June 2020 | 04:11 PM

It’s been a while since I met him, though friendships like this never die.

Hello little shy tird, glad you passed by (my cheeks)

Tuesday, 9 June 2020 | 09:55 AM

Developed fish still thrashing from my arse

Tuesday, 9 June 2020 | 02:28 AM

Apparently I am a masochist. I cannot binge eating for dinner, I fucking know it!
Still… AYCE sushi is always a great idea.

Yes it is! Only until the real time calls. The one that matter!

Monday, 8 June 2020 | 10:44 AM

This burns more like the sun.