the Shy Tird

Wednesday, 12 August 2020 | 01:44 PM

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Another shat today

Wednesday, 12 August 2020 | 12:38 PM

As soon as I arrived to another mall to go shopping, I had to rush to the toilet.

Fuck! I shall definitely stop eating pizza for good

Wednesday, 12 August 2020 | 09:57 AM

FUCK ME!

Just got out. As soon as I entered in my car I perceived something was not right: ‘shall I come back home to have a shit while I still can?’, I thought.

‘Nooo, who cares!’, I said to myself.

Well, I should have listened that. I had diarrhoea while driving. I started sweating.

I was rushing back home, but I didn’t make it. I had to divert to a Mall.

Luckily enough, the toilet I am sitting on is still early in the morning, so it’s still super clean. Well, it was…

Wednesday, 12 August 2020 | 09:11 AM

Since I am really sleepy, I let my arse do all the calculations. Just drop the bomb.

Tuesday, 11 August 2020 | 04:10 PM

Turns out pizza I ate yesterday was pretty harsh for my bowels to digest.

Indeed it is still here, I can perfectly smell every mushroom which was on.

Tuesday, 11 August 2020 | 12:47 PM

I miss having a shit in some natural spot.

I shall go picking some leaves from the ground in order to use ‘em instead of toilet paper 🤔

Monday, 10 August 2020 | 10:50 AM

Back on my private toilet. It may be more comfortable than squatting on some dead foliage, though it is duller.

I already miss hearing my crap crunching on some leaves while falling 😦

Sunday, 9 August 2020 | 01:31 PM

This camping is finally ending.

Yesterday rave party, today beach chilling, now I had to rush behind the bushes to relieve from whatever creature got out from my arsehole.

Everything wiped off, I can return to my friends rolling a zoot.

Friday, 7 August 2020 | 05:54 PM

Second day of wild camping. Low signal and relax made me forget of reporting my shats.

Still, today happened one of the most unforgettable things to tell about, and yet, the most embarrassing of all.

I was rolling a joint sat on my beach towel, I farted. After a while I noticed a weird scent in the air, but I ignored it. After I stood everything made sense. I shat on the towel, through my swim suit.

There was only one thing to do then. Dive in order to have a nice douche to my whole body.

The worst part of all is I found my swimsuit utterly stuffed. Yes. That was crap.

Thursday, 5 August 2020 | 03:15 PM

New day new camping.

So I can spread my shit all around the globe

Wednesday, 5 August 2020 | 08:18 AM

During my morning shit, glimpses of my last night dreams just crowd my mind: I was eating my shit for breakfast, mixing it with milk and some reddish stuff.

ok. Whatthefuck.

Tuesday, 4 August 2020 | 12:10 PM

It’s ricy. I mean, my shit smells pretty much like yesterday’s Uramaki

Monday, 3 August 2020 | 06:03 PM

Choose your own fate: post your shit.

Monday, 3 August 2020 | 07:33 AM

I am back to usual non-sticky, non-stinky, kinky shit. 🙂

Sunday, 2 August 2020 | 10:30 AM

All right this is fucking terrible.

Terrible terrible deadly shit.

Melted corpses.

Toxic.

Sunday, 2 August 2020 | 05:04 AM

Shit it’s late!

I don’t even know when was the last time I could lat for more than a night.

Shit. I am fucking knackered!

This tirds are just finding their way out all by themselves. No help whatsoever

Saturday, 1 August 2020 | 09:07 AM

The burning sun penetrating my tent woke me up surreptitiously, my body all covered in sweat.

I stand, undress completely, incede towards the sea water.

I dive, my utter nudity all surrounded by cool saltwater, swim for half an hour seeking for the perfect spot.

And then I found it. Sitting on the pebble, I shit like no tomorrow, my tirds now resembling stones, dancing in the tide.

Epic.

Friday, 31 July 2020 | 01:04 PM

Finally on vacation. I am in a beach in the middle of nowhere, the sea is awesome, everything is a paradise…

Since I’ve been camping since yesterday I needed a shit. I just explored the underworld at the back of the beach, barefoot, no shirt.

I am now full of scratches, but leaving my crap onto the dry foliage it’s priceless.

Oh, by the way, I wiped it up with a leaf.

Thursday, 30 July 2020 | 08:44 AM

Going camping not having had a shit this morning is not nice.

I am trying, but nothing gets out 😦

Wednesday, 29 July 2020 | 10:33 AM

Ok I already feel my shit a bit tighter. Because I am getting older every dayyy

Tuesday, 28 July 2020 | 04:59 PM

Hello world. That’s the first shat as a doctor. It’s so awesome, my friends trying to get me drunk at my graduation party, but they didn’t make it. Sure….

My shit told another story

Monday, 27 July 2020 | 08:01 AM

Even though I am having my dissertation in one hour, thus anxiety permeates my body, I am a bit constipated.

That’s going to be my last shat as a scholar :’)

Sunday, 26 July 2020 | 10:44 AM

I just can’t describe the way stuff has been downloaded from my belly.

0.5seconds, 3kg

Saturday, 25 July 2020| 05:13 PM

The smell of my shit is changing. It reminds me the smell of a dog’s poo, pretty much.

Can’t tell why tho

Saturday, 25 July 2020 | 10:59 AM

White wine makes my shit revel.

Friday, 24 July 2020 | 10:54 AM

Shit was ripen enough. I can tell that by two factors. Firstly, the unmistakeable smell. Secondly it detached from my arsehole as a continuous 30cm-long piece of matter.

Outstanding performance!

Thursday, 23 July 2020 | 11:57 AM

It’s cool to have a normal shit once in a while

Wednesday, 22 July 2020 | 12:18 PM

A tird as little as one pound coin.

Wednesday, 22 July 2020 | 10:51 AM

I wonder what kind of outcomes would the Mirror Test bring if made it with a tird.

Would it become self-aware? Would it may write a book about what it feels like being a shit?

Tuesday, 21 July 2020 | 06:50 PM

I forgot what it was like shitting twice a day, so much I am constipated.

I mean seriously, it feels like having a rock stuck inside me!