the Shy Tird

Tuesday, 1 September 2020 | 10:43 AM

Dark reveals of my fart.

Yes, I shat myself.

Tuesday, 1 September 2020 | 09:43 AM

Ouch. Yesterday night I drank one bottle of red wine all by myself, then I joined my friends, 10 km far, riding my bicycle.

Current situation is I can’t feel any part of my body. It’s all jelly. Even my shit is.

Monday, 31 August 2020 | 08:44 AM

A violent rainstorm just brought out the power. I can’t see my shit 😦

Sunday, 30 August 2020 | 06:30 PM

Let’s FAAAAAAART! Uh! A tird got out!

Sunday, 30 August 2020 | 02:14 PM

My late lunch interrupted by my butt.

Sunday, 30 August 2020 | 11:18 AM

Less than a 14-hour gestation, I am so proud. It’s a boy!

A big, huge, stand-alone boy.

Friday, 28 August 2020 | 11:00 AM

I am not sure where am I gonna end up this time. It’s eleven o’clock and everything seem to be normal.

I take my shit, I wipe my bum, I stand up and… OH SHIT! OH SHIT!

For crying out loud, these tirds are staring at me!!!

I am horrified, they have got my face! 😰

Thursday, 27 August 2020 | 07:34 PM

Apparently a busy day for my arse.

Thursday, 27 August 2020 | 04:48 PM

I’m all sweaty. Just came home from a bicycle ride. I am exhausted.

Nevertheless, my body just doesn’t care, he demands me more stress. ‘TAKE A SHIT!’, it shouts.

There’s just one thing I can do.

Thursday, 27 August 2020 | 08:54 AM

Reprise!!

I really can’t tell how short ago was the last one.

Thursday, 27 August 2020 | 08:24 AM

I am too drowsy to talk about crap. The only thing it can be said about is life is shit.

Somehow it really is.

Wednesday, 26 August 2020 | 03:24 PM

In such a hot day even my shit is sweating.

Liquid.

Wednesday, 26 August 2020 | 08:56 AM

Sometimes it’s just shit.

Tuesday, 25 August 2020 | 02:47 PM

Just as bad as this morning, only a bit stinkier.

Much more.

Too much.

Tuesday, 25 August 2020 | 09:09 AM

You know you ate too much the night before when you dream about people dying, friends going missing, disasters in the city.

You then wake up and you got your stomach utterly floating. Can bowels work as a balloon? Yes they can.

Stretching and fitting as much air as anyone can breath for a year, then, somehow, it turns into crap.

Monday, 24 August 2020 | 11:56 AM

Btw, I must remind everyone that every post I write corresponds to a shat.

This one has nothing interesting to say about, no smell, no funny consistency, it just gave me a bit of a headache.

Sunday, 23 August 2020 | 10:57 AM

Okay. I am serious this time: the first inch of shit protruding from my anus felt exactly like an unpolished stone being pushed through a funnel. And the funnel being broke.

Ouch. Too much beer last night. I mean. It hurts a lot.

I filled up the pool.

Saturday, 22 August 2020 | 06:30 PM

I can’t gain weight. Even if I ate two elephants a day, I’d just stay three weeks in a row sat on my toilet, producing seamlessly crap. The day next, I would still be the same I am now.

Where are my elephants now??

Saturday, 22 August 2020| 10:35 AM

I am starting to looking forward to my kinda birthday in October, in order to celebrate one year of posting about my own shit extruding from my arse 😍.

It feels so joyful. My shit. Lol

Friday, 21 August 2020 | 11:01 AM

I can’t stop talking about pizza, it is because my bowels’ reaction to that food is pretty abnormal.

Sqwash

Thursday, 20 August 2020 | 09:50 AM

Pizza is still inside me even though some shit already got out.

Plz pizza just get out

Wednesday, 19 August 2020 | 09:15 AM

Shit against the time.

This could actually become a sport discipline. 🤔

Tuesday, 18 August 2020 | 11:06 AM

Smooth and hard. Could become a bomb.

Monday, 17 August 2020 | 10:21 AM

Pungent smell. It feels like eating my shit

Sunday, 16 August 2020 | 11:24 PM

There’s people who smoke a joint before going to bed, here’s my thing instead: a shitstorm of shit.

Goodnight

Sunday, 16 August 2020 | 10:18 AM

Reprise. With a meat scent.

Sunday, 16 August 2020 | 09:08 AM

Wake up call.

Yesterday I had no shit whatsoever, and yet, I ate the quantity of three whole days.

I feel heavy.

Friday, 14 August 2020 | 03:52 PM

Ever since I came back from my camping trip I can’t stop making weird shit. It stink as never before, it’s soft and glimy.

Weird weird shit.

Friday, 14 August 2020 | 09:43 AM

Last night I dreamt I shat myself in public. I was with a girl I know, she was surprisingly polite, she just told me I was a bit dirty on my arse.

I don’t know what happened next, I am just relieved I can have a shit right now.

I just hope my dream won’t become real.

Thursday, 13 August 2020 | 02:17 PM

Not that satisfying. Something is still in.

Shall I use a spoon? 🤔