the Shy Tird

The more I stay sat-down arse-spread, The more I keep pooping.

That’s a fact.

Just a brisk (s)hit and run, right before a Skype call

💻🏃🏽‍♀️💩

Dry turds make the world cry.

At least my eyes ☢️

While muscle pains envelop my body, I spent the whole evening suffering the aftermath of a sushi indigestion (sort of, I just had too much of it).

I got to say I was really looking forward to this moment of peace.

Arse-spread-peace.

Can’t help thinking that the post-morning-workout-shit is the most relieving one.

Let’s have a second breakfast then!

I sit back, a new sprout comes.

Yep, this time it really is poop. With its unique, quirky sound.

I don’t really know how to express my frustration in being sat on the toilet, because of a urge I felt while working at my laptop.

Now I am here, and just a microscopic piece of art got out. C’MON EXPLAIN THIS TO MEE!

A brown rose made of _____.

Complete the sentence.

It has got no thorns. It is smooth indeed.

I just experienced a bad episode worth telling about.

I was outside, shopping – mask obviously on – well I was having my time. Then, I received a text from my ex, she wants to see me. Anxiety rises.

We meet. She talks. I listen. My bowels calls. She talks. I listen. My bowels can’t wait. I drive to a dark spot by the road. I take a shit in the bushes. A man with his dog passes by. He sees me. He does not care. I hear youngsters getting closer and closer. I hustle. I wipe it up.

Then I came back, relaxed. I had the best time in a long while with my ex. I think we’re still in love. Dunno. I feel happy.

And relieved.

Every day’s a monday nowadays. A covid shitty monday. Blue monday? Brown monday. Shitty monday. Who cares if it’s a Saturday. Today’s monday. Dull. Life’s sucks.

I’m getting rid of my crap in the meanwhile. Don’t you worry. My intestine still works perfectly well enough

I am sitting on my toilet. Waiting for something to happen.

Lil’ shit before lunch

My arse’s makes clunch

Funny how time passes by… I have been shitting on the very same toilet for many many years now.

And nothing has never change :’)

Shit’s smell in the morning still makes me puke

Ginger infusion has a laxative effect.

Pretty instant

Yeah, why not another one post workout?

Well, apparently it hasn’t finished yet.

BUT IT HUUUUUGH-HUURTS!

I mean REALLY!!

Pleease stoop!

Stooop poop

Still shitting. Must be those lentils I had for lunch…

Lentils are great. But only if you’re to stay home for the rest of your life.

It is just another introspective crap.

At last it extroverted itself, of you know what I mean…

Since I don’t feel like working, and I got to work from home, I think I’ll just spend the entire day sitting on my white throne. It is more productive.

Much more. 💩

Shats after a workout are just relieving.

Much.

Fuck! I am forgetting to eat fruits.

I just realised that. Only now that my anus has been pierced by a very spiky tird.

Keep shitting, keep writing, keep posting.

I wonder if anybody will ever fancy reading all of my post since the very first one. 🤔

Whatever their desire is, my crap resembles concrete. Not the hard stage of it anybody knows, the first liquid one, still creamy, yet heavy already. Filled in stones.

If anybody is familiar with that phenomena in which air enters in the plumbing, that is to say when you open the tap and it starts micro-exploding abruptly.

The very same just happened to my arsehole.

Every shit day is a lucky day.

Why then a shitty day is a bad day?

‘I could perhaps try’, I thought sitting on my toilet.

I tried. No luck at all.

Well it is Friday the 13th. 2020.

What should I expect? 🤔

Let’s look a the signs left by my shit.

The best way to move my bowels is the very same as anybody do: be natural when shitting PLEASE!

Do not try to mimic the others! Be original!

Be who you are!

Hard to concentrate. Hard to concretise.

Hard is my crap.