Another constipated day

Heh

Bad

Been fast. Arsehole burning

I’ve been constipated the whole night, it kept me awake, it stressed me. Had to wake up very late.

My day is compromised.

You know what’s best?

I haven’t taken a shit yet.

Could have been a normal shit, but we’re not there yet

Ahhh it’s proper lovely when I go visit my mate who lives out in the countryside. He’s full-on bro tech crypto guy — works online, always chatting about turnover and numbers — but yeah, he went and bought himself this bit of land and now he’s living out in the sticks. Plants stuff, trees and all, takes care of the soil like it’s sacred.

Today we finally started designing the bog.

Swear down, it’s been two years with no loo. Just dropping it al fresco, straight into nature.

We had some meat from the local butcher, with a side of cavolo nero grown right here on the land. Let’s just say… the digestive response was swift.

My mate handed me a pickaxe and some tissues, and I went off to lay the first stones of the toilet.

If you know what I mean?

As I said this morning, it was an endless shit.

Now it has an end.

Loooooose end

That kind of poop session that could be endless.

Thought I’ve done enough, but my arsehole keep presenting me with some new turd to expel.