Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:52 PM

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Imma go to bed,

My shit’s like glue.

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:31 AM

Uh, and by the way, my shots today are compact and looks really nice. Nice for a tird, I mean

Tuesday, 25 February 2020 | 07:25 AM

To complete my bowels adventure – and close it – I ate at my favourite Chinese restaurant for dinner.

Surprisingly I woke myself up with no air inside. How did this happen?

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 10:55 PM

Today’s been a long day. I had no shit whatsoever.

And, do you remember chickpeas? Well I found these German-brand vegan snacks at home, must have been one of my uncles gifts – he works as a salesman for supermarket blabla. I can’t speak a word of German so I had to read the pictures. It was a caramelised hazelnut, or at least that’s what my still-sleepy-mind has thought… well, they were chickpeas, dehydrated spiced chickpeas.

And the farts went on.

And I just shat.

And it’s spongy.

And I’m relieved now.

Monday, 24 February 2020 | 06:46 AM

Yes, my bowels’ still inflated.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 11:34 PM

It’s just harsh. I’m plenty of farts I can’t expel. It’s compelling, I just can’t sleep. FUCK ME

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 06:38 PM

It’s so nice when you’re phoning your friends while pooping.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 02:38 PM

CoronaVirus is making the world kneel, in the meanwhile I shit and fart and fart and fart and shit chickpeas.

Sunday, 23 February 2020 | 01:16 PM

Why don’t we invent a giant human to compost trash?
We will feed him rubbish, he’ll give us free manure.

If we’re lucky we could even find out he’s a pleasant company too!

Saturday, 22 February 2020 | 06:41 PM

I’m starting to feel better only now.