It’s three thirty in the morning, I can’t sleep, but I can soundly fart. I go have some proper ones in the bathroom.

All righty, it actually happened what I felt was going to. It’s happening pretty often, to be fair. And I am glad it happened.

Simply, I was about to get out for my morning jog, when the shit I felt was still inside me knock-knocked. Who’s there?

‘WHROOOOM’! That was immediate!

Today I am having troubles pooping. I mean, it’s not constipation, but I feel like there’s something left inside after each push.

Well, guess it’s something normal…

Maybe it’s caused by the fact I had some nightmares not long ago, or maybe is because I am very sad this morning. Or maybe, maybe it’s just random. Let me wipe this thing off and get the day started…

A Softy

Live from the white throne. I’ve just had breakfast and I was headed to the shower, the toilet was in between, so I decided to take some advantage of it.

I achieved almost nothing. I’ve just stained the slope with the littlest turd ever. POINTLESS.

The beginning of the day means deflating, i.e. MANY FAAARTS. And a huge piece of crap after me, i.e. A BIG TURD.

That doesn’t make me awake, though

I have a freaking serious gas problem. I’m constantly bloating. I am serious. My bowels are highly problematic. And flammable I believe…

So now, I’d pretty much like to sleep, BUT, this internal air I’ve got stored within me is very discomfortable. It stresses me out!

Ok ok… GOTTA RELAAAAX.

A little silent fart while working right next to my colleague. He hasn’t noticed anything! :3

I am taking polka dot shit. Yes this is what I’ve just made, a polka dot poop.

It is brown and has loads of black freckles in it, they seem like small gems mounted on it in a pretty precise way.

Now I am trying to gather my thoughts and remember what did I eat that could have caused it… but I simply can’t recall. Well let’s just imagine My arse became a painter!

So in the morning, what was anticipated by some gas, now becomes toxic waste.

The pool’s water is split in two, at the bottom there’s solid dregs, on the surface there’s the oily floating liquid. Which one’s more worth?

To be on the safe side, I’ll just flush everything away. I am just worried for the planet though…