Since yesterday I had no dinner, I am just expelling a little yuck. Very very little. Very very soft. Very very unworthy of any kind of story. Definitely missing the great crap from the last days…

Can’t believe this! Another shit!!

That german restaurant should be proud of itself!

This one looks just like cats’ poop after a meat buffet.

There’s more.

The odds were 100% happening for sure.

Blip blop, turds falling like raindrop on a lake, blistering water like a professional trampoline diver, producing no splash at all. Almost a pleasure to see that.

But I can’t, I am too concentrated on calming my mind, setting myself apart from the affliction of losing so many children, letting them go, free into the wild.

Just joking. The pain is real and it is my intestines. :/

OKAAAY OKAAAAY, I am awake! CALM YOURSELF DOWN!!!

These are my first words this morning.

I was just trying to get back to sleep, so I tossed in bed, flipping from the right side to the left, when a hasty pressure inside my bowels just presented itself abruptly, exploding inside so rapidly it was sudden and painful.

I am still drowsy though, sweating and swearing for the heat suffocating me. I jump off my bed and rush to the bathroom.

I almost made it on the floor. Its stink totally recalls every nuance of flavour from the german restaurant I went for dinner, sauerkraut, currywurst, wheat beer. Everything I loved eating yesterday, is now a blobby dung memory from the past.

The best way to start the day, uh?

Aaaand here comes another reprisal.

Yeah, actually I already knew, it is impossible for me to have a normal poop routine the day after some beers, or eating bread, or both. It simply means I have bowels problems, and I’ve never wanted to warn about it.

As I am writing, stool keep getting out of my arse, seamlessly, I am an optimal sample for creating a clockwork shit-machine

Ok I guess my thought was legit. I’ve just clutched some little pieces of marmalade out. They were more beer-sandwich related. Now makes sense, I just needed some patience.

I always lack of patience in life. Patience always bring happiness, and SHIIIIIIT! More SHIIIIT.

I really don’t understand my body. There are those days when I eat sandwiches, pizza and stuff like this and I have diarrhoea, followed by days of bloating, very stinky shit and a diffuse sickness in my belly. And the days when I do the same, even drink some beers, and the day later I feel cool. Kinda like this morning.

It is a normal normal shit, kind of dull, super easy to push, super easy to wipe, super calm.

Idk, seems weird

Sliding through the door as I crouch down the toilet.

How can it be so easy? My shit is so calm, whilst me am so in turmoil

One long thing

After the first shit I had breakfast and headed to the supermarket. It was fast, but never enough. While queuing for the check-out I spread the air surrounding me with pestilent stink, the man behind the desk was very fast and professional, and didn’t protest for the strong smell. Rushed home. I am now calm and relaxed, squeezing my bowels off to clean my soul.