On the Christmas Day, no presents for me on the toilets, no gifts, not even shit.

🙁

Constipated Christmas

Waiting for Christmas, sitting on my toilet.

Waiting for some shit, it’s hard to get.

I am constipated

C’mon! It was just pizza and two pints of beer!

Now my cheeks can’t detach from the toilet :/

And it hurts! It hurts a lot!

I mean, not that drama, I know, but WHY DOES TAKING A SHIT HAS TO HURT THIS MUCH??

A floating turd.

I mean, there’s just two kind of turds, the ones sipping, and the ones floating.

What kind of turd are you? 😂

Hard shit. Hard life

Some shit to do. Some shit to tell people I did

I should find new original ways to describe my poop.

This time is actually special, but it’s difficult.

It’s kind of hard with soft insides. The deeper it goes, the softer it gets, the smellier it gets!

After a Sunday spent in diarrhoea distress, let’s start the day with a reeky splashy turd

Let’s see what day will bring

Today is diarrhoea day.

And I gotta go to the office now…

Pop pop shit pop at Space-X speed