the Shy Tird

I don’t feel like taking a shit

I feel like I should shit.

Can’t sleep until I took a shit.

I’d need a shit before getting back to sleep.

Idk. What is this? do I really need a shit or is this a metaphor of my life?

Idk. i don’t think so.

Mh.

Was that Japanese restaurant worth it?

Ok so, yesterday we got out for our friend’s party. Pizza and beer. As usual.

This morning my girlfriend enters work at 8:30, and I must get her there.

We woke up early so we can go have breakfast together. Everything is nice, except the fact I’m on the toilet right now, pushing hard. But nothing gets out.

Let’s see how wonderful it is that toilet at the cafeteria

Just as people count sheep before sleeping, I count turds getting out of my arse.

Today they were eleven!

Today me and my girlfriend are on a one-day vacation.

Cool!

Just woke up. First thing? SHIT.

Whoa

Even my bowels love vacation!

Wonderful shit this morning

9/10

Horrible smell. My cats love it. I hate it. It’s horrible.

Bad reeky shit

Am having some trouble taking a shit this morning.

Oh wait. Here it is!

A SHY TIRD

Some shit (even a few turds) is better than nothing…

This morning it’s like this. Not utter satisfaction, yet something!

Only a little turd because I has pizza yesterday

I hate it when I’m late and I found myself still on the toilet when people start calling me from work

I just had to wait until my stomach was full and could push on my bowels.

So, second shit of the day comes

Tbh I thought I would have taken another shit this morning. That’s why the first one two hours ago wasn’t worth telling anybody

Constipation, followed by dry turds. Only in the end there was something worth shit’s name.

Horrible

I’m not satisfied with this shit today.

Not at all

Another shit. But this time it’s loooose

Another day of simole shit

Shit, just shit today

So… red wine + Japanese food + white wine + beer?

You all know the conclusion to this equation

And my bowels now more than anybody

Let’s take a shit!

After an undecided moment, my arsehole decided to release a turd. Not the Bomb, not a nugget, just A TURD worth its name.

But I do feel like it doesn’t end here…

It’s just the fact I had Indian lentils for dinner, and I farted for the whole night… why am I not taking a normal shit right now?

Only a very little shitty 😦

This morning’s is evil shit.

Just bad BAD BAAAD

And I feel so tired…. this shit pack made my slumber poor

As expected. Loads of shit was due to come

Another night spent farting, and a lot of shit in the morning. Feels like I’m not done here..

Seems like shit just gets out like water from the tap.

It’s so relieving, and I guess I felt it coming: when I sleep I always wake myself up at least once to have a pee, this time when I get back in bed, I farted humiliation, it was so bad I just had to fall back asleep ASAP to stop smelling it.

Indeed, I now understand what was causing that smell.

Thought, hoped for more shit.

Guess I must resign

A lot of shit hit

A lot of shit. Right now. Right in the middle of a meeting

I don’t understand how come I’m constipated this morning…

Not fair 😦

As expected, turmoil in my bowels forced me on the toilet.

This time it was SERIOUS shit