OKAAAY OKAAAAY, I am awake! CALM YOURSELF DOWN!!!
These are my first words this morning.
I was just trying to get back to sleep, so I tossed in bed, flipping from the right side to the left, when a hasty pressure inside my bowels just presented itself abruptly, exploding inside so rapidly it was sudden and painful.
I am still drowsy though, sweating and swearing for the heat suffocating me. I jump off my bed and rush to the bathroom.
I almost made it on the floor. Its stink totally recalls every nuance of flavour from the german restaurant I went for dinner, sauerkraut, currywurst, wheat beer. Everything I loved eating yesterday, is now a blobby dung memory from the past.
The best way to start the day, uh?
the Shy Tird 