Thursday, 23 June 2022 | 06:50 AM

OKAAAY OKAAAAY, I am awake! CALM YOURSELF DOWN!!!

These are my first words this morning.

I was just trying to get back to sleep, so I tossed in bed, flipping from the right side to the left, when a hasty pressure inside my bowels just presented itself abruptly, exploding inside so rapidly it was sudden and painful.

I am still drowsy though, sweating and swearing for the heat suffocating me. I jump off my bed and rush to the bathroom.

I almost made it on the floor. Its stink totally recalls every nuance of flavour from the german restaurant I went for dinner, sauerkraut, currywurst, wheat beer. Everything I loved eating yesterday, is now a blobby dung memory from the past.

The best way to start the day, uh?

Published by theshytird

I am a timid piece of crap

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