Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt my dinner already piled up to get out.
Pasta with lobster is ultimately tasty. I mean. Very very very yummy. The problem with crustaceans is I love them so much I always eat their shell too! Not a problem for my teeth – it soften after some minutes – though a delayed problem for my bowels.
Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt pain rising inside my arse. The zombie lobster trying to get back to the sea. Pain raising. Pain through me. I am pain.
I run for the loo, can’t even finish my breakfast. I run for my life.
*a long turd presses its way out* – I am free. Still alive. The evil crustacean soul is gone. Now I am my only true God.
Thus my morning begins.