Wednesday, 10 November 2021 | 07:21 AM

Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt my dinner already piled up to get out.

Pasta with lobster is ultimately tasty. I mean. Very very very yummy. The problem with crustaceans is I love them so much I always eat their shell too! Not a problem for my teeth – it soften after some minutes – though a delayed problem for my bowels.

Ever since I woke myself up today, I felt pain rising inside my arse. The zombie lobster trying to get back to the sea. Pain raising. Pain through me. I am pain.

I run for the loo, can’t even finish my breakfast. I run for my life.

*a long turd presses its way out* – I am free. Still alive. The evil crustacean soul is gone. Now I am my only true God.

Thus my morning begins.

Published by theshytird

I am a timid piece of crap

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: