Tuesday, 17 August 2021 | 09:40 PM

Today something pretty unique happened. We were looking for a beach by the river, but the road was too messy for my SW. As we stop, my girlfriend had to take a shit, she was holding it for too many days – constipation, such a plague.

She wanted me to stay away. ‘Now I know how dogs feel like when somebody stares at them while they poop!’, she said. I kept the distance, but as soon as she finished I went where she did her thing, and I couldn’t help but see what laid there. It was FUCKING ENORMOUS.

I can say I am pretty expert on faecal matter, nevertheless I was astonished. HOW THE HELL DID IT GET OUT?’!’ I shouted.

‘You don’t know my perks yet’, she started proudly

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