Thursday, 28 January 2021 | 05:26 AM

All right, that’s a serious problem.

Yesterday I drank some wine celebrating with friends, everything under obvious covid precautions rules, being very very careful. Anyways, we ate some peanuts, nothing else. I am still burping those very same peanuts right now. What else?

Ah yeah! I ejected this massive 1-inch-diameter turd, fancy, squishy, giant turd.

Well, needless to say, I am still here, through pain. Burping peanuts, shitting wine. Slumberless.

My biology sucks, and I don’t even have any respect for it.

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